Friday, 23 December 2011

God with me

O Emmanuel, our King and Lawgiver, 
the Expected of the nations and theirSaviour.  
Come and save us, O Lord our God.

If I hear ‘How long have you got?’ one more time – someone may get hurt.

Less than a week, actually…which has been the longest week of my life.

Never mind the nine months that went before; the 'Yes'; the waiting and wondering; the protection  of Joseph; the comfort of Elizabeth; the knowing that there is no going back.

Never mind the ever-spreading ‘everything’, insomnia and nesting urges; listening to the older womens horror stories (why do they do that?); making space; finding room; fearing that you you will be born in the dust at the side of the road. O, yes, the realisation that  soon, you will be born.

Because, really, I’d be quite happy for you to stay right where you are: to carry on being ‘the Bump’. I’ve got used to being this shape; living in a pregnancy time zone; cradling your weight in my arms; resting my hands on your bottom (or head); trying to identify if it’s an elbow or a knee that’s trying to make it’s escape. We are two but we are one, we are self-contained and complete - a perfect relationship, perfect love, perfect belonging. You are, already, all I have ever wanted.

But you are growing; you need your own ‘space’; to become more; to find your own place in the world. So in a few days you will make that journey; become ‘real’; become separate. We will look into each other’s eyes and see ourselves, I will smell your skin and know you forever, I will hear you cry and feel your pain. And I will still know you inside me – an eternal umbilical cord of love between us.

And no matter what the future, the distance, the trials and triumphs of the years ahead, that will not change. When I think of you, I will simply have to close my eyes, put my hand on my stomach and remember - you were here and part of you will never leave.



claire said...

Beautiful, Word :-) Every word of it... ((((Word))))

Word in the Hand said...


Barbara said...

really touching, Word. we tend to imagine the motherhood of Mary in iconic terms rather than flesh-and-blood terms. thank for this.

Philomena Ewing said...

Merry Christmas Word
All Blessings and Peace to You !!

Word in the Hand said...

Thank you all - a wonderful Christmas and every blessing for the year ahead m+x