The point of the argument?

Mark 15:40-42

There were women watching from a distance, among them Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of the younger James, and Salome. When Jesus was in Galilee, these women followed and *served him, and had come up with him to Jerusalem.




*in the Greek - diekonoun - to minister; as the angels ministered in the desert.
The root assumed to be from the phrase to be 'covered in dust' as the busy servant, follower or disciple would be; leading to the title of 'deacon'.
The only person named as a deacon in scripture is Phoebe (Romans 16:1) 






Much as I hate to go to the foot of the cross there is something in the air that has brought me back. 


Recent reports regarding the Vatican and the Leadership Conference of Women Religious has created an incredible air of debate, discussion and argument  flying across the airways of social network and blogging sites. 


The rights (and rites) and wrongs of the Catholic hierarchy is a never-ending debacle of trying to impose a institutional rule that seems based on prejudice, discrimination, fear of the modern world and a strangely perceived bias on what the Gospel is all about. 


And there I am going to put my hand over my mouth. 


Because the result of all this furore is often simply not good for me. 


When I first began studying scripture and seriously considering my faith and my adult relationship with God in all His/Her aspects I quickly became guilty of two great shames -


Firstly, the shame of enlightenment - that I, a cradle Catholic, had such a limited view of God that had been handed to me through school and church and that I had never thought to find out about for myself. The reaction to this; to discovering the Gospels; the theologies of liberation, gender and social justice; to the challenges of realising a Kingdom that is 'now here' rather than 'nowhere'  inspired me. Inspired me to start writing as I do now - or rather not as I do now - and to the recognition of the call to minister - which of course has its own limitations in the Catholic Church.


The other shame - and the greater - was the power that I assumed this knowledge gave me. As you can see from the notes on the Gospel above - I can build an argument about anything - from my viewpoint - and I did. And I took on an imagined mantle of opening the eyes of others to the world that God wanted and I did it in the simple belief that I was right.  I imagined that  if I couldn't be a priest then at least I could talk the talk as good as one. 


Even now I am embarrassed by this admission. 


Fortunately, or unfortunately, this came to a head in a protracted on-line discussion with a course colleague in the States. We were as far from each other theologically and faith-fully as it would be possible to be and both just as good at justifying our opinion. It seems, now, as though this discussion went on forever - it was about two weeks - and I brought it, filled with fire, to my meeting with my Spiritual Director. I was asked 'Have either of you mentioned Jesus in what you've been writing?' I had to admit I hadn't; I hadn't even thought about him;  it had all been about Church, doctrine; quotes by theologians; arguments by radicals - oneupmanship vs oneupwomanship over and over again. 


Where was Jesus; where was Love; where was forgiveness; where was compassion; where was reconciliation? It was back in 'nowhere'.


Since then I try, I try, to put those questions against whatever I say and whatever I write. My faith may be considered radical but it cannot be cruel;it cannot belittle others; it cannot be jury and judge; it cannot stand on a pedestal.


The women in the Gospel, the apostles and all those unnamed disciples of no account are the body of the Church; they are the people who sought to built a church 'united in conviction and united in love, with a common purpose and a common mind' (Phillippians 2:2) -  they are my brothers and sisters; the saints that go before me. And we  are, all of us, scrambling to walk in the dust of Jesus' footprints.


And because of this, when I hear with dismay of actions taken within the Church; I will read; I will ask questions; I will listen to what people think; I will try to speak out of love and not division; I will pray for the discernment to understand God's hand in it - and when all I can do is love - then I'll do that - in fact I'll do that first. In Jesus' name.

Prayer of St Francis 

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

Where there is injury, pardon.

Where there is doubt, faith.

Where there is despair, hope.

Where there is darkness, light.

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

wordinthehand2012