Word in the Hand

Sitting uncomfortably

2012-01-28T09:12:00.000-08:00

Gospel	Mark 1:21-28

Jesus and his followers went as far as Capernaum, and as soon as the sabbath came he went to the synagogue and began to teach. And his teaching made a deep impression on them because, unlike the scribes, he taught them with authority.

In their synagogue just then there was a man possessed by an unclean spirit and it shouted, ‘What do you want with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are: the Holy One of God.’ But Jesus said sharply, ‘Be quiet! Come out of him!’ And the unclean spirit threw the man into convulsions and with a loud cry went out of him. The people were so astonished that they started asking each other what it all meant. ‘Here is a teaching that is new’ they said ‘and with authority behind it: he gives orders even to unclean spirits and they obey him.’ And his reputation rapidly spread everywhere, through all the surrounding Galilean countryside.

A good teacher is like a candle - it consumes itself to light the way for others. ~
Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, translated from Turkish

The scribes were undoubtedly learned men with an knowledge and an understanding of scripture and law. But they were primarily bureaucrats with a need and a requirement to 'know' so as to preserve the status quo; so as to support the Temple and its leaders. That this exists in every organisation is undeniable - knowledge is a valuable commodity - but knowledge is not wisdom.

The Word requires discernment- a personal relationship with scripture that takes time and conversational prayer - including a certain amount of silence and stillness - to find its meaning. And its meaning will change - day to day - person to person. That's a big commitment; sometimes it seems easier to get someone else to do it.

We do this ourselves - sitting through the Sunday homily - distracted by the newsletter or fidgety child on the row in front. But we will believe we have heard God's Word.

The people have spent so much time hearing a mere dictation of the Word of God and now here is the Word being broken by the Holy One himself. But although the people realise that there is something about this man, seemingly the wisest of them is the demon - the unclean spirit.

Wise; because it is not like the people talking amongst themselves trying to work out what Jesus is all about; could they trust him; does he make sense; how can this be?

Mark talks a lot about 'ears that hear' and 'eyes that see'. These onlookers see an authority, a power in Jesus, yet, they are unable to make the distinction between the authority of a clever man and the truth of God's Word. Their ears and eyes see the results; not the source.

The demon simply trusts its instincts. For all this time, perhaps, it has been 'sitting comfortably' in the synagogue; the prayers and the words of the scribes washing over it because there has been no conviction, no authority. Because the words and the prayers have been learned by rote and not by heart and, in fact, fear, uncertainty and exclusion have only added to its power.

But the demon was listening, and now, it is afraid.

There is power in names and the demon calls out with both of Jesus' titles - recognises him as human and divine - but, amongst all of the listeners, there is no-one to hear except Jesus.

It is easy to allow ourselves to be blinded by the wrong kind of authority; to think that if we read enough books; learn enough chapters and verses; listen to enough talks and lectures then we will 'know'. Like the scribes we will have a phrase for for every eventuality and a quote for every topic - perhaps it is part of our humanity that we strive to try.

As Augustine says 'faith seeks understanding' or Aquinas "I understand in order to believe."

...and there- to prove it - is me quoting!

But that is not the end or even the beginning of it.

As the demon saw its own destruction in Jesus so we should see our life - we must know him as he truly is - our Lord and our God.

Each has its lesson; for our dreams in sooth, come they in shape of demons, gods, or elves, come with deep hearts of truth that tell us solemn secrets of ourselves.

-Henry Timrod

wordinthehand2012

The First Step

2012-01-21T08:01:00.000-08:00

Gospel	Mark 1:14-20

After John had been arrested, Jesus went into Galilee. There he proclaimed the Good News from God. ‘The time has come’ he said ‘and the kingdom of God is close at hand. Repent, and believe the Good News.’

As he was walking along by the Sea of Galilee he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net in the lake – for they were fishermen. And Jesus said to them, ‘Follow me and I will make you into fishers of men.’ And at once they left their nets and followed him.

Going on a little further, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John; they too were in their boat, mending their nets. He called them at once and, leaving their father Zebedee in the boat with the men he employed, they went after him.

The Big Question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty “yes” to your adventure.

— Joseph Campbell

Two Sunday Gospels with very similar tales to tell - the calling of the first apostles.

John concentrates on the sense of sight - a recognition that comes from within - the look across a crowded room - a seeing into the self - the depth of which seeks out anam cara - soul friends. Between them a sharing of the vision that is the Kingdom - a love that is not looking at each other but looking in the same direction. There is a perfection and a simplicity in John that is underlines the divinity, the charism of Jesus from the very beginning.

Mark is about the disciples; the waiting and longing that lives within us just waiting to be called; even when we don't know it's there.

There are suggestions that the fishermen were already known to Jesus - perhaps he had had a days work on their boats; perhaps they had listened to him preaching on the pier whilst they folded their nets; perhaps they had shared a meal and talked about a better future. So when the day came they were ready.

Or, perhaps not. John tells us that Andrew is a follower of the Baptist but there is no mention of the others. Andrew is seeking but he hasn't found what he was looking for: and now John is gone...

For some of us there is a calling that discomforts us. Especially when we think we are settled; when our lives are in our control; when we are doing reasonably well. Sometimes we try to silence the discomfort with more 'stuff' and more 'control' - sometimes, unfortunately, that even works.

But others still hear the small voice telling us that it's not enough - the world and all its promises are not enough - and one day the small voice invites us to do something about it.

The calling of the fishermen was not easy; in the middle of their day; with things to do and people relying on them - it was not meant to be.

Perhaps this is one of the differences between the Father and Jesus? God who is Father and Mother knows that we all belong anyway; that we have always and will always belong; that time is a very flexible concept; that God's Will will be done.

Jesus of Nazareth knows the ticking of life; knows the temptation to wait until a better day; knows that there is always somewhere else to be - but if you - you- want to be part of this Kingdom building then that is a decision you have to make sometime. Eventually, the sometime will be now.

The first step across the threshold; out of the box or into the shadows is always the hardest - every journey begins with that first step.

And the call; the call asks for that leap of faith and only then is the promise that Jesus will be with you - every other step of the way.

My journey is to be one of recognizing God, always, already present, and surfacing that presence in my daily life.— Edwina Gateley

wordinthehand2012

Where do you live?

2012-01-14T15:47:00.000-08:00

Gospel	- John 1:35-42

As John stood with two of his disciples, Jesus passed, and John stared hard at him and said, ‘Look, there is the lamb of God.’ Hearing this, the two disciples followed Jesus. Jesus turned round, saw them following and said, ‘What do you want?’ They answered, ‘Rabbi,’ – which means Teacher –’where do you live?’ ‘Come and see’ he replied; so they went and saw where he lived, and stayed with him the rest of that day. It was about the tenth hour.

One of these two who became followers of Jesus after hearing what John had said was Andrew, the brother of Simon Peter. Early next morning, Andrew met his brother and said to him, ‘We have found the Messiah’ – which means the Christ – and he took Simon to Jesus. Jesus looked hard at him and said, ‘You are Simon son of John; you are to be called Cephas’ – meaning Rock.

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.C. S. Lewis

Where, I wonder, would you expect the Lamb of God to live? A strange question... although - what would you ask of someone named as God's chosen?

And in the end, the right question because, where Jesus lives, is the centrepoint of how he gathers his disciples around him.

He looks at them.

We know that in John, everything that happens, happens on many levels; that seeing and looking has hardly anything to do with physical sight.

Yet, how often is it the first response? We do judge books by the cover; we rarely take a second look; beauty is mostly skin deep and what you see is often what you get.

But not with Jesus; Jesus has his Father's eyes that sees the world he created and knows that it is good;

Jesus has his mother's eyes when she looks at the child in her arms and sees the Sacrifice God has asked her to carry;

Jesus has Joseph's eyes that see innocence and integrity amidst claims of sin and betrayal.

This is the place where Jesus lives. The place of truth, of Love - without artifice, without judgement. Jesus looks; and the layers crumble - the show, the shields, the scars, the stubborn need to 'do it by myself'.

For many of the people Jesus meets, this is enough. That, from nowhere, there is a connection - a sense of being loved; being healed; being made whole - is enough. We see the healed gathered back into their community; sometimes without even a thank-you.

But that is alright; after all we are all brothers and sisters and that's what family are like.

And then, there are the others, Andrew, Peter, Levi, Mary - those who are called; those who are looked at and those who, in their own way, try to look back.

Today, we might say this is the gift of contemplative prayer - to see and be seen in Love.

And there grows relationship; that despite being very ordinary people with mostly no comprehension of why he is really here and few talents except for getting things wrong - they follow him - the defend him- they risk stoning and exclusion for him - eventually they will die for him.

They become the family he may choose- they become friends.

Perhaps it's worth looking back?

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin

wordinthehand2012

The Epiphany

2012-01-07T15:56:00.000-08:00

Gospel	Matthew 2:1-12

After Jesus had been born at Bethlehem in Judaea during the reign of King Herod, some wise men came to Jerusalem from the east. ‘Where is the infant king of the Jews?’ they asked. ‘We saw his star as it rose and have come to do him homage.’ When King Herod heard this he was perturbed, and so was the whole of Jerusalem. He called together all the chief priests and the scribes of the people, and enquired of them where the Christ was to be born. ‘At Bethlehem in Judaea,’ they told him ‘for this is what the prophet wrote:

And you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,

you are by no means least among the leaders of Judah,

for out of you will come a leader

who will shepherd my people Israel.’

Then Herod summoned the wise men to see him privately. He asked them the exact date on which the star had appeared, and sent them on to Bethlehem. ‘Go and find out all about the child,’ he said ‘and when you have found him, let me know, so that I too may go and do him homage.’ Having listened to what the king had to say, they set out. And there in front of them was the star they had seen rising; it went forward, and halted over the place where the child was. The sight of the star filled them with delight, and going into the house they saw the child with his mother Mary, and falling to their knees they did him homage. Then, opening their treasures, they offered him gifts of gold and frankincense and myrrh. But they were warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, and returned to their own country by a different way.

We do a great disservice to the Magi. We dress them up in pantomime finery; give them unpronounceable names and smile at them for the incongruity of their gifts. The (small 't') traditions have stifled the importance of the Magi's visit: made them straitlaced. Their appearance (and especially the inclusion of their royal status) lends a respectable finale to a tale that certainly includes some characters with dubious backgrounds. We imagine them picking their way gingerly through the mud and straw to assure Mary that her Son really is someone important – because - they would know.

They did know - but not because of their status; their wealth or their position in society.

They knew not because they had blind faith - but because they had reason to believe.

'In the beginning' God spoke a tiny spark into life - a word that, 14 billion years later, flared into the constellations surrounding our earth - a word that said 'Here is the One'.

God spoke a promise into the ears of Micah that little Bethlehem would be the place.

The promise that the chosen people knew - the scribes knew - the Temple knew - but did not live in anticipation of; did not watch for; did not expect - did not want. They remained in the darkness.

There were other chosen people to sought the Light- strangers to the promise but with open hearts; watchful minds; people who were awake to the vibrations of the angels wings; to the pulse of the watchful star; to a baby's cry.

Those who were prepared to stake reputation; to leave family; to risk the dangers of travel; to risk the hospitality of strangers. To follow more than a star and for more than two weeks - they arrive at the house, not at the stable and Mary has a child, not a baby.

Jesus invites us all 'Come and See'. The Magi accepted the invitation and despite their wisdom, knowledge and status - knelt at the feet of a child - greater than gold, frankincese and myrrh - God's gift.

wordinthehand2012

Celtic Psalm

2012-01-06T13:59:00.000-08:00

Something about Mary

2011-12-31T09:28:00.000-08:00

Gospel	Luke 2:16-21

The shepherds hurried away to Bethlehem and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. When they saw the child they repeated what they had been told about him, and everyone who heard it was astonished at what the shepherds had to say. As for Mary, she treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart. And the shepherds went back glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen; it was exactly as they had been told.

When the eighth day came and the child was to be circumcised, they gave him the name Jesus, the name the angel had given him before his conception.

Sometimes you could imagine that God chose Mary to be the mother of Jesus partially because she was this young, innocent, obedient young woman with no authority or status to call her own. Virtually no more than a living 'Ark of the 'Covenant'; a tabernacle (as some of her other titles name her).

It is an easy place to put Mary - to name her no more than a mother - a necessary component in the divine becoming human.

But there was something about Mary.

Remember that before she said 'Yes', she said 'How?' Mary accepted God's Will but she also became a willing, active participant in the Incarnation; in the life of her Son from the very beginning.

God's Will is meant to change the world; accepting our role in that means we have to want to change the world too; it is hardly a role for the faint-hearted.

The wisdom to ask the searching question is echoed time and time again from Jesus' first visit to the Temple. At the end, Jesus speaks again his mother's words 'Thy will be done'. Who taught him that women and outcasts are people too; who taught him that there are some things worth the risk of dying for?

Is it any wonder that, when Jesus is heard speaking out of turn and with authority; he is identified as his mother's son?

Mary's first title was Theotokos - God Bearer.

It is all she is

It is ALL she is

wordinthehand2012

Family Ties

2011-12-31T08:55:00.000-08:00

Luke 2:22,39-40

When the day came for them to be purified as laid down by the Law of Moses, the parents of Jesus took him up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord.

When they had done everything the Law of the Lord required, they went back to Galilee, to their own town of Nazareth. Meanwhile the child grew to maturity, and he was filled with wisdom; and God’s favour was with him.

God's favour seems to mean something different to God than it does to us.

Jesus does not have the fostering of Moses; the charisma of Joseph or even the prophetic hope of John. It is much simpler than that.

God's favour seems to grant him parents that love him; the curiosity of youth and the encouragement to grow outside the prejudices and assumptions that a small town can label you with.

Even though, as a man, he is still only 'Mary's son' to the locals; being Mary's (and Joseph's) son seems to have taught him all he needed to know - but it couldn't have been easy.

The woman lifts her veil and settles it over her head trying to make a deeper shadow across her face; shelter from the unforgiving afternoon sun. Not the best time to be collecting water from the communal well- but then the sun was not the only unforgiving thing in this village.

The clay pot is now full, but rather than make her way home she stands with arms clasped around it; cradling its coolness to her as she watches and waits. Across the square, a man stands at a doorway; his shoulders set with a determination that she recognises; by his side a young boy doing his best to stand equally as tall and as still. At the door the silhouette of another man; she sees him shake his head; lowers her eyes and shakes her own.

'I have no argument with you, Joseph, but the other families will not accept him being taught with their sons.' the Rabbi gestured to the young boys already sitting within the cool room.

'Then your argument is with me, Teacher, because my son is now five years old and under the Law should be studying scripture. I am only asking you to do your duty.'

The Rabbi considers the man and boy standing in front of him. He remembers Joseph as a young and thoughtful student and feels regret for the life that he has chosen but also admiration for his loyalty and dedication.

'We both understand 'duty' in our own way, Joseph. I will do what I can. He can sit in the doorway, to keep the dogs and goats from joining us; whatever he learns, he learns. That's all I can offer.'

Joseph recognises the gift; 'Thank you Rabbi; just as well he has good ears.' He puts his head down to the boy's ear. 'Listen well, little man.' Then gently pushes him towards the threshold, turns and walks towards across the square.

As he passes the well; the woman lifts the clay pot onto her head and falls into step behind him.
'This is not right', she murmers under her breath, 'why should he have to go through this?'

Joseph answered 'If he is going to change the world then he has to see the world for what it is. He will meet people far less sympathetic than our Rabbi, far more judgemental than our village - he needs the skills, the knowledge, he needs to know the Law and what we have done to the Law. Even this day is a victory for him, for us. I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't believed in him.'

'You are a wise man, husband.' Mary commented. They both laughed and Joseph lifted the pot from her head and carried it the rest of the way to their home. After all, at this time of the day, there was no-one to see.

Just before supper, the boy flung the door curtain aside and stormed into the house. His mother looked up and saw the vertical frownline in the forehead, round eyes close to tears and the clenched hands; she said a blessing under her breath. He walked through to the workshop at the back of the house without a word. At the worktable he picked up a chisel and started gouging pieces out of a length of wood. Joseph called to him from his seat in the corner near the fire. 'How did it go today?'

Jesus dropped the chisel and walked across to stand at his father's knee; arms held strapped to his side.
'They asked me what the Seventh Commandment was,' he muttered 'I knew the answer - thou shalt not commit adultery. And they laughed - the Rabbi said 'at least I knew the Law' but I don't understand what he meant.'

'But it made you angry? Angry enough to take it out on that poor piece of wood?'

The words burst out; 'it wasn't fair; why would they laugh at me? They don't even know me. And there was another boy who came and sat at the doorway. His name was Eli; they wouldn't let him in because his father is a tax collector. They made fun of him too but he said he never shows that he is upset; that that gave them power over him and they have no right. I am going to try to be like Eli but I didn't like them making fun of me and you and mama. Saying we weren't a real family. That's not true; we are a real family.'

Joseph drew his son to him. 'We are a real family. Families aren't decided by rules. Family are made by love and belonging. I cannot imagine being without you and your mother; you know that you will always have the two of us and the tone in your mother's voice when she calls us in for supper tells the both of us that we belong to her. Love holds us together, Jesus, not blood, not tradition, not the Law, just Love. Remember that.'

On cue, his mother's voice was heard calling them to the table. Jesus laughed and his arms went around his father's neck. 'After supper will you tell me the story about when the angels came?'

'Of course I will,' Joseph replied ' I think it's the perfect night for that particular tale.' He lifted the boy onto his shoulders. 'But first you go and tell your mother you love her.'
'

Family

2011-12-30T13:08:00.000-08:00

Luke 2:22,39-40

When the day came for them to be purified as laid down by the Law of Moses, the parents of Jesus took him up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord.

Holy Innocents

2011-12-28T06:37:00.000-08:00

Gospel	Matthew 2:13-18

After the wise men had left, the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, ‘Get up, take the child and his mother with you, and escape into Egypt, and stay there until I tell you, because Herod intends to search for the child and do away with him.’ So Joseph got up and, taking the child and his mother with him, left that night for Egypt, where he stayed until Herod was dead. This was to fulfil what the Lord had spoken through the prophet:

I called my son out of Egypt.

Herod was furious when he realised that he had been outwitted by the wise men, and in Bethlehem and its surrounding district he had all the male children killed who were two years old or under, reckoning by the date he had been careful to ask the wise men. It was then that the words spoken through the prophet Jeremiah were fulfilled:

A voice was heard in Ramah,

sobbing and loudly lamenting:

it was Rachel weeping for her children,

refusing to be comforted because they were no more.

In the days after a birth - a new reality begins to emerge. The realisation that even if you have planned with military precision how this child will fit into your life - you have already been thwarted. Life changes life - Love changes it more.

Love has no desire to live in isolation. Love holds your hand if you invite Her or stands watchful in the shadows if you don't. Love is Love.

The Octave of Christmas teaches us so much about Love - the humility of God's Love; the courage of Mary and Joseph's; the persistence of the Shepherds and the conviction of the Magi.

On his day Stephen taught us that Love is for others; yesterday John told us that there is nothing else.

Today we learn that Love is feared by Power and that, in fear, Power will try to defeat it.

Many years from now Jesus will stand in chains in front of Pontius Pilate and tell him that he has no Power over him.

And for that Jesus will die

But Love will live.

wordinthehand2011

Babe in arms

2011-12-24T18:59:00.000-08:00

A lovely telling of the Christmas Story. A beautiful crib. There is comfort in the repeating of this tradition year after year and it’s not always easy to see the awesome wonder of it.
Our God, a child in the arms of a young woman.

The Christian faith is rooted in the fact that ordinary people do extraordinary things.
That Mary accepted her part in her relationship with God and said ‘Yes’.
That Joseph accepted his part in his relationship with God and said ‘Yes’.
That shepherds, innkeepers, kings and philosophers found some way in their hearts to say ‘Yes’ .
And that these and all the other ‘Yes’s’ from the most unlikely people, throughout Jesus’ life gave God the opportunity to be born among us, to live a life with us, to laugh and cry with us, to make his own choice to die for us and to be with us now.

Listen to a baby cry. Left in a cot or pram sobbing for attention, for reassurance.
How long can you bear it before you make the choice?
To move out of earshot hoping someone else can deal with it,
or, to go to the child, to hold it in your arms, to comfort, to give and receive love.

Maybe that’s why a baby.
Because every Christmas we are reminded that this is what our God did.
That as much as he is our Loving Father in Heaven, our wild hearted Sister in Creation
he has also been a tiny, vulnerable, beloved child of earth.
And every Christmas we are asked if we are prepared to enter that relationship of love,
To take on that responsibility.To decide that when the angel puts God into our arms, will we be able to say ‘Yes’?

wordinthehand2011

God with me

2011-12-23T06:04:00.000-08:00

O Emmanuel, our King and Lawgiver,

the Expected of the nations and their  Saviour.

Come and save us, O Lord our God.

If I hear ‘How long have you got?’ one more time – someone may get hurt.

Less than a week, actually…which has been the longest week of my life.

Never mind the nine months that went before; the 'Yes'; the waiting and wondering; the protection of Joseph; the comfort of Elizabeth; the knowing that there is no going back.

Never mind the ever-spreading ‘everything’, insomnia and nesting urges; listening to the older womens horror stories (why do they do that?); making space; finding room; fearing that you you will be born in the dust at the side of the road. O, yes, the realisation that soon, you will be born.

Because, really, I’d be quite happy for you to stay right where you are: to carry on being ‘the Bump’. I’ve got used to being this shape; living in a pregnancy time zone; cradling your weight in my arms; resting my hands on your bottom (or head); trying to identify if it’s an elbow or a knee that’s trying to make it’s escape. We are two but we are one, we are self-contained and complete - a perfect relationship, perfect love, perfect belonging. You are, already, all I have ever wanted.

But you are growing; you need your own ‘space’; to become more; to find your own place in the world. So in a few days you will make that journey; become ‘real’; become separate. We will look into each other’s eyes and see ourselves, I will smell your skin and know you forever, I will hear you cry and feel your pain. And I will still know you inside me – an eternal umbilical cord of love between us.

And no matter what the future, the distance, the trials and triumphs of the years ahead, that will not change. When I think of you, I will simply have to close my eyes, put my hand on my stomach and remember - you were here and part of you will never leave.

wordinthehand2011

'O'nward

2011-12-21T14:56:00.000-08:00

O Rising Dawn, Radiance of the Light eternal and Sun of Justice: come and enlighten those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death.

As a rule; I am not particularly afraid of the dark; in fact it has been a solace and a haven for me in much of my life. Strange noises and the suspicious shapes in the shadows tell me that there are many things outside my imagining and they are often not to be feared. Those of you who share the experience of these periods of insomnia and broken sleep may or may not agree with me but it is in those times that I have generally got to know myself, and my God, better.

it is in the darkness that we reveal our little selves, without embarassment or shame - we weep until our eyes throb with the saltiness of grief - grind our teeth with anguish or anger - groan at our helplessness- for who is there to see?

In the darkness we are able to hurl our fears and regrets at what may feel like a closed door or a strong embrace. It is the confessional darkness that allows us to pretend that God may not be able to distinguish us from our daylight self full of confidence and contrived sense of control.

i wondered about the Angel leaving Mary; how, through his presence, the light of God must have burned so intensely in that room that her eyes were seared with angelfire- that the brightness allowed her to see the truth of Gabriel's message. That she really could be the mother of the God Child; for who would dare to say such a thing in the light?

And when the Angel left her; and the room plunged again into night; what were the thoughts that then began to race through her mind? The totally rational fears of what, if it were true, she had got herself into. The enlightenment that came then was not from the worldly dawn but from a flicker of light that caught her soul aflame and reached down through the darkness showing her her strength; her courage; her perseverence that had never been revealed to her until this moment.

Surely she could not have gone to Joseph eyes downcast; an apology on her lips and shame in her dragging footsteps?

From the moment of that 'yes' she was the Mother of God - God's Beloved- He was her Light. The darkness was still there - the shadow of death still hovered - but the Light; even the promise of the Light was enough - trust in the God who sees you in the darkness and the shadows - trust in the God who sometimes sends you into the darkness and the shadows - because that too is a Godly place.

wordinthehand2011

Come, Child

2011-12-20T14:10:00.000-08:00

Key of David and Sceptre of the house of Israel; you open and no one closes; you close and no one opens. Come, and deliver from the chains of prison those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death.

lost gloves2011

God sits on a chair of darkness in my soul.

He is God alone, supreme in his majesty

I sit at his feet, a child in the dark beside him;

my joy is aware of his glance and my sorrow is tempted

to nest on the thought that his face is turned away from me.

Jessica Powers

Someone made the comment recently that Christmas should be where it was before the calendar changed - about two weeks ago or so. I have to say, I disagree. There is something viciously Lenten about waiting through these dark days and especially tomorrow, the darkest of days when the sun barely finds the desire to raise its head from the horizon.

There is something in the thought that in a few days Joy will enter the world and it won't be enough; because it wasn't last year and I have the darkest fears that, in part, it's my fault.

'Be gentle with yourself' is my usual penace after Reconciliation, I admit to finding that hard. This evening it was to 'count my blessings' - this I could do - quite methodically but without much joy. Whilst it isn't a mood that I would ever wish on myself or any other; I have experienced this enough by now to know that this is a ennui that will be defeated by the Child.

Child of Light

The Child has no chair of darkness - his bed is fodder for animals

and he has often 'nested' in my arms.

I never need to wonder at the expression on his face because

our eyes meet often and full of love.

Shadows are no more than resting places

and his key opens the heart.

As in the last few days of my own pregnancy - I want this Child and I want him now.

wordinthehand2011

In the Biblical Sense

2011-12-17T15:18:00.000-08:00

	Luke 1:26-38

The angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the House of David; and the virgin’s name was Mary. He went in and said to her, ‘Rejoice, so highly favoured! The Lord is with you.’
She was deeply disturbed by these words and asked herself what this greeting could mean, but the angel said to her, ‘Mary, do not be afraid; you have won God’s favour. Listen! You are to conceive and bear a son, and you must name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David; he will rule over the House of Jacob for ever and his reign will have no end.’
Mary said to the angel, ‘But how can this come about, since I am a virgin?’ ‘The Holy Spirit will come upon you’ the angel answered ‘and the power of the Most High will cover you with its shadow. And so the child will be holy and will be called Son of God. Know this too: your kinswoman Elizabeth has, in her old age, herself conceived a son, and she whom people called barren is now in her sixth month, for nothing is impossible to God’ ‘I am the handmaid of the Lord,’ said Mary ‘let what you have said be done to me.’
And the angel left her.

Last year I considered this last sentence with a sense of abandonment - that Gabriel was somehow uncomfortable with this messenger business and, once getting his 'yes', was eager to return home; mission completed. Last year, maybe, my soul sighed at my lack of romance.

'God's beauty, too, surrender seeks and takes in the will's lull

whatever lets itself be changed into the beautiful'

Jessica Powers

Gabriel has just spoken for his Lord, spoken words of endearment, of desire, of promise -
the Bridegroom waiting anxiously for an answer in the antechamber of eternity - the eternity that this seemingly ordinary, young woman holds in her hand.

And Mary?

Mary has said 'Yes' -

not 'I'll think about it',

or 'it's just there's this other guy...'

or 'you do know I am likely to get stoned to death....'

but 'Yes - I am His and whatever He asks, my answer will be Yes because I am His.'

And the fulfillment of this promise is that Mary is 'overshadowed' by the Holy Spirit.

Can you imagine in God the delight, the gratefulness and,if it could be imagined, the impatience of a bridgegroom?

Can you imagine then as the mystics have tried to describe in their own experiences, knowing God's Love that physically; that uttterly; that intimately? So intimately that a spark of Life is created deep in the shadows; in the life-giving sacred space within you?

No wonder Gabriel got out of the way.

wordinthehand2011

In the Bleak Midwinter

2011-12-15T10:17:00.000-08:00

wordinthehand2011

A man came...

2011-12-10T14:53:00.000-08:00

Gospel	John 1:6-8,19-28

A man came, sent by God.

His name was John.

He came as a witness,

as a witness to speak for the light,

so that everyone might believe through him.

He was not the light,

only a witness to speak for the light.

This is how John appeared as a witness. When the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, ‘Who are you?’ he not only declared, but he declared quite openly, ‘I am not the Christ.’ ‘Well then,’ they asked ‘are you Elijah?’ ‘I am not’ he said. ‘Are you the Prophet?’ He answered, ‘No.’ So they said to him, ‘Who are you? We must take back an answer to those who sent us. What have you to say about yourself?’ So John said, ‘I am, as Isaiah prophesied:

a voice that cries in the wilderness:

Make a straight way for the Lord.’

Now these men had been sent by the Pharisees, and they put this further question to him, ‘Why are you baptising if you are not the Christ, and not Elijah, and not the prophet?’ John replied, ‘I baptise with water; but there stands among you – unknown to you – the one who is coming after me; and I am not fit to undo his sandal-strap.’ This happened at Bethany, on the far side of the Jordan, where John was baptising.

It would seem that John has not wandered far from Mark's account, yet there are some significant moments in John's retelling that meant something then and so, mean something now.

The calling out into the wilderness from the sacred space of the Temple is an incredible event. The Temple meant everything to the Jews; holding onto the centre of their faith particularly during the occupation was immensely important. Yet people left and went into the desert and down to the riverbank to listen to a disheveled preacher.

John had something; and it was enough of a something to give people hope that their prayers had been answered. The prophets often appeared out of nowhere; voices in the wilderness; voices crying against the empty hearts of those who do not want to hear.

But people did want to hear; they came to hear and stayed to listen. John speaking against the authorities and yet the authorities taking no action against him ; Herod admires him. The Pharisees are asking their questions out of the hope that it could be true- this could be the Prophet - the Messiah.

Would they have know the story of his own miraculous birth? The signs are there.

John has his reply. In John, John is not the Baptist - he is the Witness; the first witness; the pre-natal witness. The Coming of the One has been a part of his genetic patterning; he could not deny it if he wanted to. As great a light as John is - in every cell of his being - he knows he is not the Light.

But he probably would have 'done'. The authorities may well have rallied around him; his followers were clearly devoted to him - the recorded criticism and exclusion of Jesus and his friends. He may have had his idiosyncrasies but there was something familiar in his ministry - 'are you Elijah?' He fits the profile; there had been many, many years of God's silence before John but there is little difference between him and the prophets that had come before.

John's followers were rebels but not radicals. They wanted the Messiah that the Jews had always wanted; they wanted to topple the enemy; to have their land and their place in it. It was about them and their God; for them John was enough.

A true prophet; John knew he wasn't; knew that Jesus would be so much more than he could imagine - couldn't image - remember his message from prison - 'are you the One?'. John (and John) warns us - don't be distracted; look beyond; don't settle for 'enough'.

But we often do; we become captivated by something just a little out of the ordinary; just enough of a challenge. Sometimes we connect with the personality of others who are making the spiritual journey beyond; writers; theologians; priests and retreat leaders and we follow them. We grant them authority through lineage and tradition. We listen to what they say and read what they think; we rely on them to do the 'witnessing' and attach ourselves to their coat-tails.

To paraphrase St Paul we follow Rhor or Merton or Fr so-and-so; but they are just human beings on the same journey as us; we are meant for Jesus. For that personal calling, holding, healing relationship that seems too good to believe; that we don't believe is for us; but that John wants us to believe truly is.

We admire the many that we recognise as witnesses; John himself, the saints, the 'wise' people; we must never forget that we are intended to be witnesses ourselves.

But first we too must 'see' the Light.

wordinthehand2011

Advent Promise

2011-12-09T15:07:00.000-08:00

wordinthehand2011

Complines - Psalm 15

2011-12-08T11:31:00.000-08:00

Wasteland sunset

I will hold the Lord for ever in my sight:

with him at my side I can never be shaken.

Thus it is that my heart rejoices,

heart and soul together;

while my body rests in calm hope.

Night Prayer - Deuteronomy 6:4-7

2011-12-07T14:03:00.000-08:00

Listen, Israel: the Lord our God is the one Lord.

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength.

Let these words I urge on you today be written on your heart.

You shall repeat them to your children and say them over to them whether at rest in your house or walking abroad, at your lying down or at your rising.

Night Prayer - Psalm 142

2011-12-06T13:11:00.000-08:00

Show me your mercy at daybreak,

because of my trust in you.

Tell me the way I should follow,

for my soul is drawn towards you.

Night Prayer

2011-12-05T14:09:00.000-08:00

St Melangell

Psalm 85

Turn your ear to me, Lord, and hear me,

for I am poor and destitute.

Keep my life safe, for I am faithful;

O God, save your servant, who trusts in you.

Beginning - 2nd Sunday of Advent

2011-12-03T09:06:00.000-08:00

Gospel	Mark 1:1-8

Another Place - Anthony Gormley

The beginning of the Good News about Jesus Christ, the Son of God. It is written in the book of the prophet Isaiah:

Look, I am going to send my messenger before you;

he will prepare your way.

A voice cries in the wilderness:

Prepare a way for the Lord, make his paths straight.

and so it was that John the Baptist appeared in the wilderness, proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. All Judaea and all the people of Jerusalem made their way to him, and as they were baptised by him in the river Jordan they confessed their sins. John wore a garment of camel-skin, and he lived on locusts and wild honey. In the course of his preaching he said, ‘Someone is following me, someone who is more powerful than I am, and I am not fit to kneel down and undo the strap of his sandals. I have baptised you with water, but he will baptise you with the Holy Spirit.’

Nearly two years ago now our Scripture group began studying Mark's Gospel - we are still spending time with him and his and Simon Peter's telling of the Good News. Having kept notes as we have gone along I thought it may be worth sharing our thoughts - for what they are worth.

This Gospel is meant for missionary work; short enough to be written on just one scroll; short enough to be memorised; action packed enough to grab the interest within a few starting sentences. The original text reads like a graphic novel 'and then...and then...and then...'

Every time I hear the opening verses I imagine a disciple entering a house or village
square and capturing his audience with those first few words; delivered theatrically
as a prologue; a promise of action. In fact, I often think of Frankie Howerd at the beginning of
the tv series 'Up Pompeii' (for those old enough to remember)

It is a Gospel that names fear and answers it with Love. Mark speaks to people who are
on the margins – in Jesus’ time this was both a cultural,religious, deeply
personal and uncrossable margin; these days we have different ideas of who are the
outcasts - but there are always outcasts.

The people seem to live in judgement of each other. Jesus will repeated challenge

how we believe we can do this. Mark is always asking us where do we stand –

with (or as) the outcast or in judgement of the outcast? And if we say we stand for

justice and inclusion - then what are we doing about it?

And we asked ourselves where we would put ourselves as we hear this – did we believe
ourselves living on the margins and in desperate need of God’s grace or,
as a churchgoer/believer did we imagine we already know this message?

John the Baptist preaches repentance and offers forgiveness to even those who have

become excluded by Temple law. John, the archetype of the great Old Testament

prophets; he is both graced and doomed - for the end is coming and he is precursor

of all that will be and he won't even be sure that he has the right man.
John brings a promise of redemption for everyone. But it is not him that will bring peace.

The people leave Jerusalem; a radical statement already for people to leave the ‘organised’
church to listen to John, because they know, they feel that there is something missing.

Our faith life usually begins when we are very young; to begin our faith as

institution and culture is normal - a part of growing up - we have to learn the basics.
From this we develop our own rules and expectations; we build a picture of the God we
believe in and the life we would follow and we bind that up within the rules of the church.

As we grow the time comes when we must reconsider where we stand and what we
believe in; are we happy with our faith; are we content - should we be?

John is a man of the desert; wild and unconstrained; full of the Spirit.
And yet he warns us that when we encounter Jesus he will ask more- and give more -
than we could ever imagine.

Then we will be asked the question put to the Rich Young Man -
to leave everything behind; to move away from what is comfortable;
to put ourselves on the margins; to turn again.

Jesus will follow John. The question is - will we follow him?

wordinthehand2011

Lost and Found

2011-12-02T14:09:00.000-08:00

Another Place - Anthony Gormley

Compline Reading Jeremiah 14:9

Lord, you are in our midst, we are called by your name. Do not desert us, O Lord our God!

Strange that our natural inclination seems to be believing ourselves abandoned....

Your heartbeat a prayer

for a God shaped space within

to be filled by grace.

Still now, breathe, listen

You have your place - in God's hand

Be at one with Love

wordinthehand2011

The Quickening

2011-12-01T14:33:00.000-08:00

Complines Reading	1 Thessalonians 5:23

May the God of peace make you perfect and holy; and may you all be kept safe and blameless, spirit, soul and body, for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Sometimes Advent does not begin on the nearest Sunday to 30th November.

Sometimes, like a pregnancy, it makes itself known in imperceptable, internal movements. Movements that are sensed but not seen.

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. (Martha Graham)

The Advent journey is unique - it is a girl dreaming in the dark after the Angel has left; it is a man staring into the fire wondering if dreams can be believed; it is an older woman knowing that they can.

It is whatever it needs to call you into the anticipation of waiting.

wordinthehand2011

On guard

2011-11-27T16:11:00.000-08:00

Gospel	Mark 13:33-37

Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Be on your guard, stay awake, because you never know when the time will come. It is like a man travelling abroad: he has gone from home, and left his servants in charge, each with his own task; and he has told the doorkeeper to stay awake. So stay awake, because you do not know when the master of the house is coming, evening, midnight, cockcrow, dawn; if he comes unexpectedly, he must not find you asleep. And what I say to you I say to all: Stay awake!’

There are many servants doing many things but only one of them is told to 'stay awake' - the doorkeeper.

When I first read this passage this year, I thought, surely, the doorkeeper must be really important - they have the responsibility of who does and doesn't have access to the Master's house - they have the keys; they are ones who guard the threshold. In Celtic and other native spiritualities, the threshold is an blessed place; a place of transition; a place of guarding. And yet - the paradox of the Gospel as usual - no-one is a doorkeeper.

The doorkeeper, in Roman times, in Jesus' time, was the lowest of the servants, tied to the post in more ways than one - literally part of the furniture - certainly part of the door furniture. Found at every threshold from the family home to sacred temples; no more than human watchdogs.

In Latin the title is Ostiarius, and the tradition found a place in the house churches of the early Christians - presumably volunteers by this time - there was a lot to guard against - and then as guardians of church buildings. Ostiaries - the lowest of the minor clerical orders before Vatican II suppressed them.

The suppression, I am guessing, came about because their duties were simplistic and practical and didn't need academic or intellectual skill. Contemporary clerics are expected to be both academic and intellectual, at least throughout their formation - it must have made sense to leave these duties to the laity as sacristans and sextons. So this is a Gospel for all of us and especially for the least of us.

The greatest of all duties is given to the least and.... there are so many doors.

As Paul tells us, we have our own temple; our Godspace within. How do we acknowledge that? Do we wait in expectation at the portal, taking time in contemplative prayer to bring ourselves to the place where we will recognise the approach of our Beloved?

We are surrounded by others in need of God's grace; do we notice them? Do we invite them into the experience of God's love for each of us? Do we see our Master in them?

Personally, in the Advent of recent years, I have been called back to the last month of my first pregnancy - a long awaited child that had require both medical and Divine intervention that had made every month a milestone; every twinge a concern. Then in the eighth month, as part of the antenatal care, I had visited the maternity ward and all of a sudden realised that this child would be making an appearance; would need to move from the protective safety of my enfolding body to the wide world with all its risks and insecurities. In that last month I learnt how to 'stay awake', to pay attention to the world and everything in it; to look forward to the promises made months before; to know that I had a place in the scheme of things and, more importantly, to know that it would never again be 'all about me'.

wordinthehand2011

Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T01:30:00.000-08:00

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice. ~Meister Eckhart

And yet

2011-11-20T16:27:00.000-08:00

Gospel	Matthew 25:31-46

Jesus said to his disciples: ‘When the Son of Man comes in his glory, escorted by all the angels, then he will take his seat on his throne of glory. All the nations will be assembled before him and he will separate men one from another as the shepherd separates sheep from goats. He will place the sheep on his right hand and the goats on his left.

‘Then the King will say to those on his right hand, “Come, you whom my Father has blessed, take for your heritage the kingdom prepared for you since the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food; I was thirsty and you gave me drink; I was a stranger and you made me welcome; naked and you clothed me, sick and you visited me, in prison and you came to see me.” Then the virtuous will say to him in reply, “Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you; or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and make you welcome; naked and clothe you; sick or in prison and go to see you?” And the King will answer, “I tell you solemnly, in so far as you did this to one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it to me.”

‘Next he will say to those on his left hand, “Go away from me, with your curse upon you, to the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you never gave me food; I was thirsty and you never gave me anything to drink; I was a stranger and you never made me welcome, naked and you never clothed me, sick and in prison and you never visited me.” Then it will be their turn to ask, “Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty, a stranger or naked, sick or in prison, and did not come to your help?” Then he will answer, “I tell you solemnly, in so far as you neglected to do this to one of the least of these, you neglected to do it to me.”

‘And they will go away to eternal punishment, and the virtuous to eternal life.’

Another week where I am reading the Gospel from behind the couch; hoping the next time the Sunday Gospel speaks through Matthew I will be in a better place.

And so, on the feast of Christ the King, Matthew continues his fearful warnings. The final warning that must mean that the majority of us, and certainly me, are heading towards the eternal nowhere - as Private Fraser used to say in Dad's Army - 'we're doooooomed'.

And we must be, mustn't we? There is no quarter given in this judgement - 'whenever' you do this or that. I spend my life trying to do 'this' and trying to avoid to do 'that' but I definitely with Paul on this one - I still do and don't do - every day I am both a sheep and goat - every day.

Today I wonder why this is the reading for Christ the King - this judgemental God who finds it easy to separate the wheat from the chaff. I believe that we are a people intended to love God and each other but where is the 'Love' here?

And then I remember that this is the last Sunday before Advent; before John comes to tell us that there is a new way; before the old laws are set aside. Because, whatever Matthew says, we do not have a King that sits only on a throne of judgement.

Everytime I go to Mass I say it - I admit I have sinned; it was my fault; I am not worthy

and yet...

My King does not sit on a throne of Judgement but on a throne of Mercy

and yet...

I have sinned through my fault, through my own most grievious fault

and yet ....

I know I will never get myself into Heaven - never

and yet....

my King stands not before me but beside me

and so...

Only say the Word and I will be healed.

wordinthehand2011

Ever Ready?

2011-11-05T15:44:00.000-07:00

Gospel	Matthew 25:1-13

Jesus told this parable to his disciples: ‘The kingdom of heaven will be like this: Ten bridesmaids took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were sensible: the foolish ones did take their lamps, but they brought no oil, whereas the sensible ones took flasks of oil as well as their lamps. The bridegroom was late, and they all grew drowsy and fell asleep. But at midnight there was a cry, “The bridegroom is here! Go out and meet him.” At this, all those bridesmaids woke up and trimmed their lamps, and the foolish ones said to the sensible ones, “Give us some of your oil: our lamps are going out.” But they replied, “There may not be enough for us and for you; you had better go to those who sell it and buy some for yourselves.” They had gone off to buy it when the bridegroom arrived. Those who were ready went in with him to the wedding hall and the door was closed. The other bridesmaids arrived later. “Lord, Lord,” they said “open the door for us.” But he replied, “I tell you solemnly, I do not know you.” So stay awake, because you do not know either the day or the hour.’

During this Liturgical year I have come to realise that the more I hear from Matthew the more I am unsettled by his Gospel. Sometimes, it seems to be so full of resentment and judgment that there seems to be little to choose between the critical Pharisees and the challenges that are being made against them. Scripture always has something to say to the individual - reading us as we read it- and the most fearsome element of the last few weeks is the feeling that all this finger-pointing has a particular something to say to me.

I admit that I have been part of the education system that taught Jesus as being nice and kind and seemed to often gloss over his more challenging attributes and now I know better; I admit that I do believe that Jesus, his Father and the Holy Spirit have it in their minds that we should all make it to the Kingdom and if we don't then maybe we have to accept that it is our fault; I admit that I believe that there is nothing that is unforgivable and that this all-forgiving love is God's default position.

I have come to realise that I believe all of this because of John, Mark, Luke and Paul - but Matthew? Not so much.

Matthew, as he gets nearer and nearer the end of his Gospel becomes more and more threatening in his language - 'You had better be good or else'; warning after warning after warning. And I do want to be 'good' but the likelihood of me managing it becomes more and more remote - the standards are just too high; the suggestion that there will be a 'them' and an 'us' becomes more frightening as I come to realise that I am likely to be in the 'them' group.

I have found it hard to read the accusations thrown at the Pharisees for being hypocrites - how much is that like me; I find it hard to read about the arrogance of the teachers -how often have I done the same; today I find it hard to read about the unreadiness of the servants - when I know there are times I have been distracted or unable to be there when I am needed.

I find Matthew makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable and maybe that is the point. I don't feel able to write about 'others' - the people who do...; the people who don't... the people who should ...- I am all those people. Why should I look outside myself for what is 'not good enough' ?

In past years I have wondered why the bridesmaids don't share -surely that would be more Christian than this very sensible reply? If they have given the right answer, what do they mean?

Perhaps the answer is there is only so far you can go to help anyone - but to help a fool? I have lamps and candleholders around the house - looking beautiful. I even have torches and storm lanterns in the drawer and garage - in case of emergency. If I am a fool then once the emergency comes - I may know where the lamps and the torches are but where are the candles, the oil, the matches, the batteries?

Getting ready is only part of the work- if all I have done is build an exterior that looks the part- if all I have done is fulfill an initial expectation and then pretended it might never happen - isn't that my fault?

I may be proud that I had everything in place for last year's cold winter - but what about this year?

In my past I have felt God calling and have had the desire; taken the time, made the opportunities to deepen my faith; to find a place to live out what I believe God wants of me -

and what about now? Do I believe I've done enough; has complacency set in; am I a fool?

Perhaps I should thank you after all, Matthew, for the wake-up call.

wordinthehand2011

Sacred Space -Assisi

2011-10-26T14:26:00.000-07:00

I have only been to Assisi twice; but somehow - as often is the case with sacred places- a part of me has always been there. A part of me, I hope, still remains so if I never get there again in person then I can be there in spirit.

Particularly for the second visit which seemed like a comedy of errors including driving (for the first time ever on the 'wrong' side of the road) across Italy, by myself, without a map having been diverted off the autoroute by roadworks and then, having arrived in one piece, finding my credit card deactivated - it's amazing how far 50 euros can go when that's all there is. Francis continuing to teach through example :)

Assisi

Undeniably, one ofthe most beautiful places on earth. Medieval buildings of pink granite, turnedgolden in the sun. Hot red geraniums, bold against the dark blue of a NorthernItalian sky: the scent of olive groves, rosemary and lavender, and good coffee.

Magical, an inspired setting, worthy of the romance of ‘Romeo and Juliet’.

And if you had onlya passing awareness of Francis and Chiara you would well imagine a romanticunion between them; two young noble people in love.

And they were; butnot with each other; or rather, yes, with each other, but with the vision ofChrist that they saw in each other’s eyes.

A love for a Christwho is both Romeo and Juliet. Whose love is so all-consuming that he wouldsacrifice his life rather than live without us.

A love for a Christ whose loveis

undeniable and eternal.

Chiara and Francis,

lovesick in their desire to live

in the shadow of that love.

Assisi – a sacred space of love,

un-possessing yet all-encompassing.

Roadside shrine

San Damiano - first home of the Poor Ladies (Poor Clares)
The entrance to the House of the Poor Ladies was guarded by themost formidable of the Sisters and could only be reached by a ladder. Imaginehaving to make such an effort, to actually need, actually want to climb aladder to reach a place of such poverty and sacrifice.

Not the sort of ladder we would usually be interested in.

Because we do know about ladders; the ladders of success, ofpromotion, of fortune. The rungs that mean the move from second-hand car toshiny 4x4; from two-up two-down to two bathrooms and a second home; from punchcard to platinum card; from GCSE to PhD. We need to know that we are on our wayup; vertically challenged is not good enough; we want our heads in the clouds.

The Refectory - San Damiano

And it isn’t just how we measure ourselves, we survey everyoneelse on our horizon – are they higher or lower than us? Envy or ridicule makesus dizzy as we not only strive to raise our own position but to keep tabs onthose around us. Top or bottom, way up or way down, high or low – this is whatmatters. Our place in society; our place in the grand scheme of things; ourpoint of balance flimsy and tottering; always on the brink.

wall carving San Damiano

If this is important, if this is what matters, then how could wemeasure our Christ, our Lord who started at the bottom, climbed a couple ofrungs then fell off into the ditch where he died? If we are ladder people thenwe have to consider what that says about Christ – what that says about us – andwhy we still don’t get it.

The Hermitage

view of the Hermitage -
still 30 minutes walk to go

Who knows how longa walk?

Wrong shoes, nodirections, no water in the middle of the day- the faith of a fool.

But there is anintent for this walk - a journey towards a leaving behind. The ego, thelittle I, the needy needing to be needed; and for what?

To prove that I am‘good for something’;

that I have a right to exist?

God’s been doingthe hard work again –waiting - waiting for me to recognise myself in Him.

To realise that Imay be an outsider but I am not outcast –

not from God’s Love,not from Christ’s Body.
To know that being‘useless’ means being available to the Spirit’s desire. To understand thatI can only be ‘useful’ to God by being empty, by being vulnerable.

And. Lord, seeingthis, knowing this, does not make it easy. Not for a Martha like me.

left behind

But in this sacredspace filled with the humility and devotion of Chiara and Francis may I find myown place at your table.

So I thank you,Lord, for the challenges and errors that got me here.

For showing methat nothing is impossible;

that I am braver than I thought I was;

that I have friends; that I have You.

Take my life Lord,fill it with Yourself.

wordinthehand2011

Sacred Space - Another Place

2011-10-18T02:24:00.000-07:00

Not all sacred spaces are contained; not all are typically holy. Not all are holy to those that visit - one of the reasons I love Lindisfarne is the mix of people who visit the same space for many reasons.

Crosby beach is not so far - 40 minutes as opposed to 4 hours drive away; on the opposite bank of the Mersey river. This side of the river mirrors the commercial sea trade that has sustained Liverpool for hundreds of years. The docks stretch north to the Bar where the river meets the sea in a turbulent exchange of fresh and salty waters; blue and orange cranes stand on tip-toes, spiderly graceful above the squat corridors of metal containers waiting for their boat to come in. Out to sea the air currents are harvested by 200ft tall wind turbines; their size only realised by the passing of a Mersey ferry.

In the shadow of all this marine industrialisation a few acres of tidal land has been declared of Special Scientific Interest and is a nature reserve attracting fishermen and birdwatchers. This gap allows the natural seascape to take over. The beach is flat; made up of a dark gritty sand that stains the water a dirty brown (despite appearances and following years of industrial and negligent pollution, the river is now 'European-ly' clean and home to all manner of wildlife).

This stretch of the river is inhabited by the art installation 'Another Place' by Anthony Gormley. This art piece consists of 100 cast-iron, life-size figures spread out along three kilometers of the foreshore, stretching almost one kilometre out to sea.

The Another Place figures - each one weighing 650 kilos - are made from casts of the artist's own body and are positioned along the shore - all of them looking out to sea, staring at the horizon in silent expectation.

They have been previously been seen in Cruxhaven in Germany, Stavanger in Norway and De Panne in Belgium.The work is meant to be seen as a poetic response to the individual and universal sentiments associated with emigration - sadness at leaving, but the hope of a new future in another place.

In November 2006 the statues were expected to move to New York but after a successful appeal by the Merseyside public they have, paradoxically, made their home here.

Almost immediately the locals complained - some that their peace and quiet was being disturbed by the daily visitors; some that they were not able to sail their boats and ski-boats so close to the shore for fear of coming into contact with cast iron mermen - the tide covers about half of them at different times of the day. Their friends include them in their seaside fun - dressing them in baseball caps; fancy dress at Halloween and even as shepherds, angels and wise men at Christmas- time.

When they first arrived they were all, understandably, remarkably similar in appearance but they are not the same; they are made from the same body but not from the same mould. The six years (and more) have shown on their faces - and everywhere else.

Each of them wears an identity bracelet with a number etched on it. Each figure has a place marked on some marine map - but they have not stayed where they were put; despite their weight they have wandered and sometimes need to be 'reclaimed'. Depending on where they are, their contact with the sea or the winds, they have aged in different ways; their features sandblown smooth or gnarled with barnacles and seaweed. Some are coloured a deep golden brown - with wrinkled layers of salty rust. whilst those near the top of the sands remain a smooth gun metal grey.

Even in the busiest of seasons it is only a matter of a few hundred yards to find yourself making solitary encounters with the men; looking out to sea to imagine what has caught their fascination. Wondering at their impassive nature as they stand resolute against the rising tide; Canutes with nothing to prove.

There is something about the fact that they are casts of a human being - a sense that something of the artist is there within them; what must it feel like to leave vestiges of yourself all over the world? What must it feel like to squint into the sunset from a hundred pairs of eyes; to feel the sand blowing against the body or the fish nibbling between your toes. Or maybe that's just me.

Sometimes I envy them their stillness and their belonging. I imagine them as desert fathers and mothers - each in their little cell of sand, sea and air - all with their hearts set on the Other Place we all hope to be, God willing.

wordinthehand2011

Pay it forward

2011-10-15T13:43:00.000-07:00

Gospel Matthew 22:15-21

The Pharisees went away to work out between them how to trap Jesus in what he said. And they sent their disciples to him, together with the Herodians, to say, ‘Master, we know that you are an honest man and teach the way of God in an honest way, and that you are not afraid of anyone, because a man’s rank means nothing to you. Tell us your opinion, then. Is it permissible to pay taxes to Caesar or not?’ But Jesus was aware of their malice and replied, ‘You hypocrites! Why do you set this trap for me? Let me see the money you pay the tax with.’ They handed him a denarius, and he said, ‘Whose head is this? Whose name?’ ‘Caesar’s’ they replied. He then said to them, ‘Very well, give back to Caesar what belongs to Caesar – and to God what belongs to God.’

I guess it's hard for people who are so used to things the way they are - even if they're bad - to change. 'Cause they kind of give up. And when they do, everybody kind of loses.(Pay it forward)

Matthew again showing his bitterness towards the Temple and perhaps, this time, with some justification. That the Pharisees seek to trap Jesus into a no-win situation seems obvious. The flowery compliments tell us that much - strange words from people who value rank and hierarchy and see fear as a good thing - for it keeps others in their place. And Jesus does not know his place.

Jesus is acknowledged not so much as fearless preacher but as something of an anarchist; that we have a choice to pay or not pay taxes is not one most of us have ever considered and in Roman times the wrong decision would have resulted in something more final that fines or imprisonment. For Jesus to suggest that taxes should not be paid would have been outrageous; those bent on stirring the pot of political and civil unrest would have had a field day.

The Pharisees perhaps are trying to make links between Jesus and the tax collectors - remembering that he had friends and Apostles in this occupation. No-one would have considered a tax collector honest or unafraid; working with the Romans made tax collectors willing collaborators in the exploitation of their own people. Most Jews lived on or below the poverty line but there was always Caesar needing to be paid and the tax collector's own commission on top of that; they were not popular with anyone.

Nothing for the Temple to sneer at though. Caesar's money wasn't welcome near the Temple; but the Law stated that sacrifices had to be bought and sold; so they had their own Temple money which could be exchanged - with commission of course - at the Temple gates (part of the trade that angers Jesus later on). It seems money, no matter whose head is on it, has its own agenda and it rarely brings out the best in people.

For some of us the realisation comes that money is not the answer. When we grow in our spiritual life the material world can seem less important. There are times when there is a real temptation to draw back from the world; to believe we are not part of that 'scene' anymore; we have moved on.

There is a danger in seeing Jesus' statement as a confirmation that we can exclude ourselves from what goes on around us because we are 'God's people'. That we can look out at the rest of the world and accuse others of living in 'Caesar's pocket' - full of the colourful temptations and ambitions that money, hierarchy and rank can bring with them.

Notice that Jesus tells us to do both - to give to Caesar and to give to God. To ensure that what Caesar gets is no more than is called for; that God gets all that He gives. To see what our vocation as God's people asks of us.

And what is that?

Our 'selves'? Our Love? To love God with all our might and our neighbour as ourselves?
To be the Sheep of the parable; feeding, clothing, loving the least of all.

That would mean not drawing back from the world; not judging, excluding or accusing; but giving. Being blessed for being meek and poor of spirit; for hungering for what is right and becoming peacemakers; for mourning what is not right and being persecuted because of it.

Giving God what is God's will will cost you. It will cost you your life.

wordinthehand2011

Ready or not?

2011-10-08T12:26:00.000-07:00

Gospel	Matthew 22:1-14

Jesus said to the chief priests and the elders of the people, ‘The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a feast for his son’s wedding. He sent his servants to call those who had been invited, but they would not come. Next he sent some more servants. “Tell those who have been invited” he said “that I have my banquet all prepared, my oxen and fattened cattle have been slaughtered, everything is ready. Come to the wedding.” But they were not interested: one went off to his farm, another to his business, and the rest seized his servants, maltreated them and killed them. The king was furious. He despatched his troops, destroyed those murderers and burnt their town. Then he said to his servants, “The wedding is ready; but as those who were invited proved to be unworthy, go to the crossroads in the town and invite everyone you can find to the wedding.” So these servants went out on to the roads and collected together everyone they could find, bad and good alike; and the wedding hall was filled with guests. When the king came in to look at the guests he noticed one man who was not wearing a wedding garment, and said to him, “How did you get in here, my friend, without a wedding garment?” And the man was silent. Then the king said to the attendants, “Bind him hand and foot and throw him out into the dark, where there will be weeping and grinding of teeth.” For many are called, but few are chosen.’

From all the Parables, this is one that really worries me.

The most Jewish of the writers it has been the desire of Matthew's people that the message of the resurrected Christ would bring about a change of heart in the Temple. Unfortunately the change never came and it was the Followers of the Way who found themselves without a home.

I know that these writings are from Matthew's resentful and regretful point of view. Luke's version opens the invitation to the poor and the unclean without the violence and vengeful anger. Perhaps the idea of such anger in a Gospel of love is what disturbs me - does Jesus really mean to send people, even foolish people, into the dark when he is the Light; or is it just Matthew?

That the first part of the parable refers to Israel seems clear; always intended to be the bride never mind the guest; yet when the promised one came she continued to hide behind the protective veils of the Law - it had been such a long time; maybe too long.

So, like Jesus, the king goes out onto the highways and byways and gathers in the good and the bad, the clean and the unclean, the tax collector and the fisherman. The invitation is made and accepted; the new guests dressed in their best finery, thankful for this moment when they are seen as important; when they have a chance to shine - except one - and of him is made the biggest example.

Why?

Is it better that we don't come at all than we come unprepared?

And how do you know?

There's a book I have been reading for a long time called The Gift: How the Creative Spirit Transforms the World by Lewis Hyde. It has taken a long time because almost every page has a thought on it that sets me thinking - I could well be some time with this book.

'Gift' is addressed from almost every angle. And one idea refers back to earlier cultures, particularly how much is entailed in the giving and receiving of a gift (and here I am including the invitation of the king - surely a gift to those previously ignored).

In these cultures there is much ritual and symbolism; it has to be understood that when a person gives a gift - no matter what the object is - they are giving of themselves; a part of their creative spirit is being released to the 'other'.They need to be certain of who they are giving to...

And so for the person who receives; they must understand what they have been given and they must not only honour the gift by taking care of the object but must honour and nurture the spirit in which it has been given - as I do to you so you must do to others- using it to inspire and energise the life of the receiver. Sometimes the object itself is passed on but always it is expected that the spirit will be. It is even intended to find its way back to the giver.

In such a culture the very thought that a gift is left to gather dust physically or spiritually is enough to destroy friendships and alliances - even lead to war.

The invitation, the gift that Jesus gives us, in spite of our unworthiness, is the same; it is not meant to be left at home or even left in church. His gift contains the challenge of his own mission.

The gift of grace, forgiveness and love that we have been given no matter who we were, should be part of who we are now and it is meant to be passed on - as I do to you so you must do to others.

St Paul tells us that when we are clothed in love we are clothed in Christ - the important question is - can you tell?

wordinthehand2011

Serve the Truth

2011-10-01T15:37:00.000-07:00

Gospel	Matthew 21:33-43

Jesus said to the chief priests and the elders of the people, ‘Listen to another parable. There was a man, a landowner, who planted a vineyard; he fenced it round, dug a winepress in it and built a tower; then he leased it to tenants and went abroad. When vintage time drew near he sent his servants to the tenants to collect his produce. But the tenants seized his servants, thrashed one, killed another and stoned a third. Next he sent some more servants, this time a larger number, and they dealt with them in the same way. Finally he sent his son to them. “They will respect my son” he said. But when the tenants saw the son, they said to each other, “This is the heir. Come on, let us kill him and take over his inheritance.” So they seized him and threw him out of the vineyard and killed him. Now when the owner of the vineyard comes, what will he do to those tenants?’ They answered, ‘He will bring those wretches to a wretched end and lease the vineyard to other tenants who will deliver the produce to him when the season arrives.’ Jesus said to them, ‘Have you never read in the scriptures:

It was the stone rejected by the builders

that became the keystone.

This was the Lord’s doing

and it is wonderful to see?

‘I tell you, then, that the kingdom of God will be taken from you and given to a people who will produce its fruit.’

If I was in the mood to beat myself up, this would have been a post about how often we are the tenants- abusing, rejecting, even destroying anyone or anything which distracts us from the wages of worldly endeavour.

When we feel challenged by what we think are God's expectations of us it can be easy to let the ego tell us that we are really the ones doing the work; the ones who are in control.

But there are times when we are, genuinely and to the best of our abilities, doing our best to do some Kingdom building. We may not be the Son but we are trying to be servants and still it all goes wrong. We are criticised; condemned or belittled in our faith. Sometimes the situation we are in is so painful, hostile or political that simply being there is hard enough. Yet we know we have to be there.

Who said being a Christian was ever going to be easy? This Gospel certainly doesn't.

The Church is many people, as Paul says to the Phillipians 'united in conviction and united in love, with a common purpose and a common mind' - when it's at it's best. We should all be keystones; trying to hold together many situations and relationships.

Like Mother Teresa; we may worry that God trusts us too much. We may even be pleased at our achievements - but it is rejection which will alway prove to be our real strength because rejection teaches us that we are not the ones in control; we do not make the decisions; we cannot 'fix' things or people.

We learn to live, knowing that God lives in us, and that is enough.

No-one else has power over us - not even ourselves. Losing our personal expectations we can lose our expectations of others. We are asked, simply, to plant ourselves in the moment; the person or the situation and allow God to blossom.

wordinthehand2011

Second Thoughts

2011-09-24T16:35:00.000-07:00

Gospel	Matthew 21:28-32

Jesus said to the chief priests and elders of the people, ‘What is your opinion? A man had two sons. He went and said to the first, “My boy, you go and work in the vineyard today.” He answered, “I will not go,” but afterwards thought better of it and went. The man then went and said the same thing to the second who answered, “Certainly, sir,” but did not go. Which of the two did the father’s will?’ ‘The first’ they said. Jesus said to them, ‘I tell you solemnly, tax collectors and prostitutes are making their way into the kingdom of God before you. For John came to you, a pattern of true righteousness, but you did not believe him, and yet the tax collectors and prostitutes did. Even after seeing that, you refused to think better of it and believe in him.’

Matthew certainly has it in for the church-goers. His bitterness expressed through the tax collectors and prostitutes that were occupying the seats of honour before the priests and elders. The fact that at the time they were expelling the followers of Jesus from the Temple may well have had something to do with it; do you think?

But if Jesus was gathering his followers from the prostitutes and tax collectors of the city then surely, after his death, they have got no nearer the Temple courtyards - they are as excluded as they have ever been - the priests meant Jesus' message to be squashed by his crucifixion - the undesireable as undesireable as ever.

Matthew is talking about about a whole two tier set of Christians; those that believed in the Good News but were still acceptable in polite company and those that believed and were never and would never be allowed anywhere near polite company.The thought the Temple would ever accept them showing a very human desire to be accepted. At some point the break was bound to happen. The Good News falls differently on ears that believe they have the answer than on ears that have nothing but questions. But how hard to admit that we are the use-less rather than the use-ful ones. Yet God loves the use-less ones; the ones who are not filled with their own strategies for life are more likely to have time for God's.

It seems easier, more worldly, to become 'yes' people - people pleasers - measuring ourselves by the approval of others. And then, believing that the 'yes' is good enough, feeling justified by our projected image of obedience.

Obedience is not about what we say but what, or who, we listen to. We can react with a barely considered and bound to fail 'yes' or we can use the 'no' that says I'm not worthy until the Spirit reminds us us that 'worthy' is not the measure of a Christian, All Jesus wants to know is 'Do you believe in Love? Do you desire God's Love? Then Love.' Whoever we are.

wordinthehand2011

Kingdom Moments

2011-09-17T15:46:00.000-07:00

Gospel	Matthew 20:1-16

Jesus said to his disciples, ‘The kingdom of heaven is like a landowner going out at daybreak to hire workers for his vineyard. He made an agreement with the workers for one denarius a day, and sent them to his vineyard. Going out at about the third hour he saw others standing idle in the market place and said to them, “You go to my vineyard too and I will give you a fair wage.” So they went. At about the sixth hour and again at about the ninth hour, he went out and did the same. Then at about the eleventh hour he went out and found more men standing round, and he said to them, “Why have you been standing here idle all day?” “Because no one has hired us” they answered. He said to them, “You go into my vineyard too.” In the evening, the owner of the vineyard said to his bailiff, “Call the workers and pay them their wages, starting with the last arrivals and ending with the first.” So those who were hired at about the eleventh hour came forward and received one denarius each. When the first came, they expected to get more, but they too received one denarius each. They took it, but grumbled at the landowner. “The men who came last” they said “have done only one hour, and you have treated them the same as us, though we have done a heavy day’s work in all the heat.” He answered one of them and said, “My friend, I am not being unjust to you; did we not agree on one denarius? Take your earnings and go. I choose to pay the last comer as much as I pay you. Have I no right to do what I like with my own? Why be envious because I am generous?” Thus the last will be first, and the first, last.’

This is a difficult reading. Particularly difficult when we feel that we are part of the group who have been toiling all day or even able to admit that, maybe, it was just part of the day. But we never like to think of ourselves as those that turned up for the last hour.

It is a strange truth that the parts of the Gospel that deal with this type of reckless and unreasonable forgiveness seem to bother us the most. Certainly form the basis for a heated debate and much shaking of heads; wondering why we bother.

But if this is the question - then maybe, and I ask myself this, maybe we have not even earned an hour's pay in God's vineyard.

Maybe we were hired at the very beginning but have spent the day sitting in the shadows of the protective wall watching everyone else do the work; carrying the lighter basket; taking the extra cup of water - thinking that just being there was good enough. And then probably having the nerve to be at the frontline in the criticism ; after all - we were there. Hired and accepted - payment promised - with a handshake to seal the deal.

But is that enough?

Last time this Gospel came around I thought about the 'Last hour' people as people who were lost; and unwanted; like the beggars you often see on city streets; looking for work but who would ever hire them?

People who find themselves abandoned by society or living without hope often come to a point where they only have God to turn to and only then when every other avenue has been tried and lost.

The redeeming message is that, for such people, when you give up all that you have, wholeheartedly to God then all that has gone before is redeemed. And for many their future lives are filled with the paradox of knowing themselves loved in God's eyes whilst continuing to be judged on past events by the world.

Last week's Gospel told us that this is wrong, We are meant to offer the forgiveness that the world is incapable of.

It seems we, I , am unable to stop judging people either for good or for ill. But in seeking out the opportunity for forgiveness we should be able to see better with Kingdom eyes.

Time has been been on my mind lately. Thinking about this and the difficulty with reconciling the 'Last hour' to a days worth of labour I was reminded of something which did give me a new viewpoint.

I was involved in a project that delivered creative art workshops for people with social issues across my area. Adults sometimes but mostly schools. Schools, generally, are very keen to get value for money and I would often find myself working with multiple classes throughout the day - I think 140 students in a day was my record.

To even hope to provide a 'creative experience' for this number of students was a logistical challenge that, for me, often weighed heavy on my own creativity and made me question what benefit that 40/60 minutes could make to a person living with many other difficult life challenges.

To be truthful the workshops were always enjoyable but on occasions there would be a special moment - it could be as simple as the first time someone wrote their name; used a sewing needle or made it through a lesson without a panic attack. Moments that would be celebrated by students and teachers.

Out of thousands of hours they are moments that are precious. And that continues now with the hours of my life and the hundreds of people that I encounter - there are always Kingdom moments that are simply 'right'. Moments when I am no longer 'idle'.

Moments that, given the choice, I would say to God - 'Never mind what has gone before - if you are going to judge my worth, Lord, judge me on that.'

wordinthehand2011

Sacred Space - Celtic Chapel

2011-09-14T03:07:00.000-07:00

My parish church.

Something of a landmark, it's pyramid structure exhibits the imaginative design of churches built on the cusp of Vatican II. The church won an architectural merit award in 1965 and remains a listed building; occasioning the odd knock on the presbytery door and a group of architecture aficionados asking for a look around.

The church itself is a wonderful space - managing to be theatrically expansive and intimate as required. A lot is achieved in the lighting. We do hold many services by candlelight and appreciate the shadows and warmth reflected in the wooden panelling of the roof. The architect, with a sincere respect for the symbolism of church architecture, followed the traditions of space and form to create a contemporary place of worship suitable for large congregations (it holds 700+) and smaller services. But sometimes we have very small groups and individuals seeking a quiet space of their own.

In a side porch we have created the Celtic Chapel in acknowledgement of the first Christians that would have worshipped in this area - actually just up the road but more of that another time. The area was home to monks who would have come on mission from the North East, particularly the Holy Island of Lindisfarne - ditto another time.

I have had the opportunity to stay on Holy Island and in one of the retreat houses there is a chapel in the basement. One of the island churches has a tiny prayer space in a boiler house. Any space, it seems, can be sacred.

A wonderful carving of the Celtic Cross, showing the intricate weaving of the eternal journey of life, death and rebirth is the focus of prayer. There are fabric prints of celtic design and an offering of Creation's own artwork in the shells, stones and seedpods around the base of the cross.

The seating arrangements are an ad hoc collection of donated and found chairs and cushions and, together with the 'end of roll' fabric bargains disguising the doors, a space is created that is warm and intimate and totally different to the main church space.

A carving of the 'Green Christ' by a local artist and parishioner guards the entrance. Within this intricate carving of a joyous Christ there are butterflies and ladybirds, oak and elm leaves - the promise of the resurrection witnessed each year in Spring and at Easter.

Here we have meditation every week for a small group which, every couple of weeks, becomes a meeting for a support group.
Here, we start the classes for Confirmation and Holy Communion as a way of making space between the busy world and God's house.
Here, people come to read, talk, to listen and to not talk at all.
Here, we have Celtic morning prayer before the weekday Masses to begin the day asking for blessings for ourselves and each other.

It has only been in place about three years now but it has been a Godsend as much as a Godspace. It is a refuge; a place of holding and a place of letting go.

Sitting in the chapel silence descends as the breath stills. Then the world becomes loud as all the background sounds make their presence known, traffic, police sirens, the crack of the beams in the church, the hum of the motorway. Turning inwards these sounds are left to drift and it is the sound of the heart that fills the ears; a little longer and even this fades. The silence becomes thick and palpable. When I have been in Greece and Portugal I love to swim out a couple of hundred yards from the beach and 'hang' in the water. It used to drive my son frantic but it is the nearest to a natural silence that I have ever come - my own isolation tank surrounded by creation.

I get that same feeling in the chapel; time doesn't stand still so much as ceases to matter.

And then....

wordinthehand2011

Sacred Spaces - St Patrick's Well

2011-09-08T16:36:00.000-07:00

I live on the Wirral, or in the Wirral or in Wirral depending upon your sense of geography. It's a small peninsular in the North West of England about 10 miles by seven; the River Dee separates us from the Roman city of Chester and the hills of North Wales; the River Mersey from the city of Liverpool and motorways Northwards.

Out to the West, Liverpool Bay leads into the Irish Sea and across to Ireland herself. Theoretically, I am told, it's almost an island as two ship canals come to a point where you can step from one to the other but the transport links of motorways and trains seem to defy that particular definition.

Across to the Welsh Hills

The Wirral is still mostly suburban or countryside, originally part of a hunting forest that was planted in the 12th Century. It has been home to Roman, Saxon, Viking and Norman settlers. Pre-Roman it was home to a Celtic tribe called the Cornovii and there is evidence of Christian Celts from the the 5th and 6th Century in the round celtic churchyards in some of the local villages. From around 1200AD, Benedictine houses provided hospitals, supported a leper colony and provided a cross river ferry to and from Liverpool.

Like most locals I have been guilty of taking all of this for granted. I love living where I live but had made limited connections between my own spirituality and that that surrounds me preferring to go further afield to find sacred space until this summer when the opportunity simply wasn't there.

Thank to the nature of the landscape - the name Wirral comes from 'Wirheal' meaning bog-myrtle and suggests that the area was unsuitable for faming or building - the later creation of the hunting forest (being good for nothing else) and the fact that the Wirral has been (and still is in part) controlled by a few wealthy landowners - much of the countryside is unspoilt and protected as nature reserves .

St Patrick's Well isn't my nearest space but the one I would probably have never visited if I hadn't made the commitment to 'look at the ground beneath my feet'.

Part of the nature reserve - known as the 'Wirral Way' - travels through Bromborough, about five miles from my home.

Bromborough is one of the possible sites of an epic battle in 937, the Battle of Brunanburh, This is the first battle where England came together as one country, to fight the combined forces of the Norsemen and the Scots, and historians consider it the birthplace of England; this area is known as Dibbinsdale being centred around the River Dibbin. It's a mixture of meadow, riverside wetland and retains some of the ancient woodland of the 12th Century forest.

A breath of water and woodland surrounded by busy rush hour traffic; industrial units and a shopping outlet; I have driven past hundreds of times always on my way to 'somewhere else'.
This summer I turned into the sandstone lined lane; came to a halt in the tree encircled car park and took a look at the reserve map with the philosophical comment 'you are here'.

And on one of the many woodland walks there was a label and a small detour over a wooden bridge to a spot marked 'St Patrick's Well'.

St Patrick is reputed to have blessed this well, a scarce source of fresh water at the time, before his mission to Ireland in 432. Tradition or otherwise - this little corner has kept the title ever since.

Water has always been a sacred place in pagan and celtic spirituality. It would make perfect sense as the celts moved from pagan to Christian belief to have their source of water blessed by a man who embodied the strengths of the Druids and the Christian faith. You would wonder why it wasn't more famous; why, indeed, it didn't have it's own pilgrimage trail.

On seeing the sign I was a little hesitant to go further; what if it was neglected; vandalised; graffittied? What if it was a dreadful disappointment? What if it wasn't even there?

But it was; the walk lead downhill into a sandstone gorge. I found myself following a path below the surface of the modern road - beside the path the runoff from the rain mingled with the cascades of a brook that widened into small river. An arrowed sign that seemed to lead nowhere and there it was - a small squared-off entrance with markers of ancient masonery held in the grip of the deep roots of a beech tree. The water clear and bright above the debris of nature's leavings - seed pods, twigs, leaves and crab apples.

A certain neglectful elegance; a stillness; a sense of presence that was both spiritual and remarkably mundane.

There was nowhere to sit apart from the floor and the weather wasn't kind - leaning against the rocky outcrop the sound of the traffic above faded into a quiet humm. Any sense of moving on disappeared; stillness descended.

As dogwalkers and bmx bikers passed by there was a sense of timelines crossing; boundaries being pulled down. Sixteen hundred years plus of people coming to the Well; a place of life, of faith, of hope. And here I am today seeking the same refreshment of life.

Even if Patrick hadn't been here although there was a plain-ness and a practicality that would have certainly suited his spirituality - this place, this water was valued; was important; was sacred in a discrete way; sacred enough to remain inviolate. Somewhat returned to Creation; but why not? Why not?

God in the Everyday; the Everywhere - in a walk through woodland or sitting in a ancient church. Holy men and women have come before us whether or not we know their names - we are all part of a greater realm - we just have to take the time to step out of the normal way of things now and again.

This visit came at the end of the summer but brought a good lesson - the history I told you about at the beginning is as rich and as varied as any country; any part of this country. Perhaps we should first know where we come from?

As Mary Oliver says:

"Instructions for living a life.

Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it."

wordinthehand 2011

Seeking sacred spaces

2011-08-27T15:50:00.000-07:00

Abbey at Lindisfarne

There are many holy places in the world I would like to visit and re-visit. Some I have; but in the main, at this time in my life, I don't have the freedom, time or money to go on faraway pilgrimages or long retreats.

Also, I have ambivalent feelings about the need to travel or detach oneself from the world. The pilgrim in me understands completely the need to move out of the everyday; to take on the challenge of a journey; particularly to visit with and walk in the footsteps of the saints who have been an inspiration. The hermit in me agrees with the desert fathers and mothers - stay in your cell and find God there or you won't find God anywhere. God is in the everyday; and the everyday is everyday.

St Melangell's

Jesus seems to do a bit of both; his wandering mission connects Jewish places with Gentile lands and sweeps back home to Capernaum or to to the place of trial, Jerusalem. When needed; there is the desert; probably only a few hundred yards from the trail finds him in solitude - though the solitude brings him nearer to his Father.

Window at Walsingham, Anglican Shrine

A book on Sufi wisdom I am reading suggests that people can only be completely alone when they know they are not alone. I like that thought; that the love of those we gather around ourselves gives us the confidence for times of solitary living - not, as Richard Rhor once joked, that some enter seclusion because they just don't like people.

Before the summer break I had no plans and no plans for plans - my life is like that these days - then a friend offered me a weekend at Walsingham which was a gift and a blessing. A plan can be as complicated as it needs to be. Living in Britain I am surround by ancient places of prayer; some well known, some barely remembered. This summer I have visited some of them for an hour, a day, a few days.

St Patrick's Well

Having taken hundreds of photographs I thought I would share these with you over the next few weeks or so - in case you ever get to my part of the world.

I will keep you posted.

wordinthehand2011

The Road is long

2011-08-27T12:51:00.000-07:00

Gospel	Matthew 16:21-27

Jesus began to make it clear to his disciples that he was destined to go to Jerusalem and suffer grievously at the hands of the elders and chief priests and scribes, to be put to death and to be raised up on the third day. Then, taking him aside, Peter started to remonstrate with him. ‘Heaven preserve you, Lord;’ he said ‘this must not happen to you.’ But he turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle in my path, because the way you think is not God’s way but man’s.’

Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If anyone wants to be a follower of mine, let him renounce himself and take up his cross and follow me. For anyone who wants to save his life will lose it; but anyone who loses his life for my sake will find it. What, then, will a man gain if he wins the whole world and ruins his life? Or what has a man to offer in exchange for his life?

‘For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of his Father with his angels, and, when he does, he will reward each one according to his behaviour.’

To think I never used to like Peter - but I was younger then and more certain of what was right and wrong - I was probably a lot like Peter; that's often the way it works.

I often wonder why John was called the Beloved. Maybe John was just easy to love; being younger; more impressionable; more expressive; being willing to follow.

Peter finds it hard to follow. Peter is a man; the head of a family; a business man and the captain of a fishing boat. Probably of a similar age to Jesus; he is the one who would have the greater standing in the community. There would be many who would regard Peter as an elder, someone who you would go to for advice and guidance.

Surely, no-one with this sense of responsibility is going to stand by and listen to their friend plan their death. Peter has made some challenging changes to his life; he has stepped out of his own boat long ago to walk with this man; he stepped out of yet another boat to risk his life to this man and now he is being asked to leave another boat behind - the boat that puts him in control of 'what should happen next'.

Last week, Peter recognised his friend as the Son of God - this week he thinks he can decide what God can do with him.

The Hebrew meaning for satan is to oppose or obstruct. As human beings it is a struggle to live out God's plan rather than following the material and accountable stepping stones of the world.

We have to imagine that not everything the world offers is wrong - the world is, after all, full of God - but then we have to ask ourselves if sometimes we are tempted by ideas that do obstruct our following of the Way, especially when the way is dark and uncomfortable.

Peter was never Satan, but the request he made - in love - was.

Jesus is beginning to give voice to the path he was destined to take; each word uttered out loud making it more realistic, more true. And then to have his closest friend say - No, you can't do this to me, You mean too much to me. You can't leave me - must have been an even greater temptation than those on the mountaintop.

Control and obstruction hides itself in human love. It is so difficult to give those you love their own freedom. 'If you love someone you let them go' - no wonder that was written by 'Anonymous' - how hard it is to do. Even harder to release them to the mystery of God's Will - why Peter struggles with the need to suffer, why we still do today.

Jesus doesn't turn his back on Peter, only the temptation and the show of ego that tried to put Peter in charge of Jesus' life; to second-guess God.

Which is why he says to all of them that they must renounce themselves -not who they are in God's eyes - but who they are in their own eyes and the eyes of the world. The cross is heavy enough without trying to balance ego and ambition - one or the other will topple - which is up to you.

wordinthehand2011

Fool for Christ

2011-08-20T13:10:00.000-07:00

Gospel	Matthew 16:13-20

When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi he put this question to his disciples, ‘Who do people say the Son of Man is?’ And they said, ‘Some say he is John the Baptist, some Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.’ ‘But you,’ he said ‘who do you say I am?’ Then Simon Peter spoke up, ‘You are the Christ,’ he said, ‘the Son of the living God.’ Jesus replied, ‘Simon son of Jonah, you are a happy man! Because it was not flesh and blood that revealed this to you but my Father in heaven. So I now say to you: You are Peter and on this rock I will build my Church. And the gates of the underworld can never hold out against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven: whatever you bind on earth shall be considered bound in heaven; whatever you loose on earth shall be considered loosed in heaven.’ Then he gave the disciples strict orders not to tell anyone that he was the Christ.

Strange to think that just out of thin air Jesus puts this question to his followers. It suggests that some sort of conversation was going on; a background noise; a distraction - cetainly enough of a distraction for Jesus to decide to have it out.

The region of Caesarea Philippi was also known as Panias - the place of the pagan god Pan - and the city was pretty impressive built on top of a high escarpment.

It could be imagined that the disciples had never spent any time in this area; or knew it only by hearsay. It could be imaged that it was a sight to behold - even if they never set foot in it. Imagine a high city like this, abundant with life, dedicated to a god of nature often imagined as a shepherd and here they were with their own shepherd walking through the dust and heat of the day possibly searching out one of the fresh springs that the area was known for.

Maybe they were comparing their faith to the pagans - there has been a long history of envy regarding the elaborate temples and idols that the pagans worshipped, or perhaps they were criticising the lack of true faith. Perhaps, given their love of status they were discussing what they would do with the city if it became theirs - but then that was unlikely to happen - look at them - just a band of wanderers.

Perhaps they were just wondering what they were doing there.

Then the question - and they are thrown - their replies incredulous. They surely can't believe what they saying? Searching back in their memories for great leaders in faith - not able to acknowledge that here, now was someone unique; here was the one they had been waiting for.

Simon gets the nudge from the Holy Spirit; he may be wrong but he has already played the fool out of love for Jesus more than once. Love enables him to imagine more that the evidence allows; only just but enough.

Enough is more than enough as Jesus pours authority upon him - you see this city built on a great rock? It is nothing - nothing compared to you - because you have heard the
Father's voice in your heart.

Simon, whose name means 'listening', has heard and has believed. Now Simon Peter has taken the first step; has become the first stone, the foundation of believers - those who believe not because they see, not because they have been told to, not because it makes sense but because they love foolishly and undeniably.

This is the glimmer of faith that Jesus has been waiting for; Simon Peter has taken the leap, made the connection, entered into a relationship not only with his friend and brother but with the Father and with the Holy Spirit.

No wonder Jesus is delighted; now all he needs is more Peters.

wordinthehand2011

Standing by

2011-08-17T09:11:00.000-07:00

Gospel	Matthew 20:1-16

If ever there was a Gospel which calls for righteous indignation, it is usually this one. The thought that a lifetime's commitment could rewarded in the same way as a deathbed confession leaves many people grumbling along with the earlier workers. It's just not fair.

But we all know that life isn't fair; especially when life seems to tipped in other people favour but we expect God to be fair - and we expect God's fairness to tip very much towards us. The truth is we need God's fairness to tip towards us.

Who knows why the others were still waiting in the market place? Idle doesn't mean lazy - it means able to but not actually working. The traditional telling of the parable would have had you believe that they were lazy - that it was the early birds who benefitted - the first 'Chosen'. Who knows why these people were not chosen - too old; too young; sickly or infirm; from the wrong side of the tracks or just off the hills. And if that's where you are, then one place may be very much like another; indeed the only relief may be to be with others who are like you.

The telling moment is that when the opportunity is given - they go and they work; probably work their hearts out hoping that today's half a day will give them the chance they've been looking for to make an impression; to show what they can do. Hoping that these few hours - whatever the pay- will show them worthy of another day.

It doesn't take God that long to know your worth. In 1 Timothy it says ; God wills that all will be saved. It is not up to us to make exceptions - we are meant to love as we love ourselves - as long as the work is done.

wordinthehand2011

Heartaches

2011-08-13T16:57:00.000-07:00

Gospel	Luke 1:39-56

Mary set out at that time and went as quickly as she could to a town in the hill country of Judah. She went into Zechariah’s house and greeted Elizabeth. Now as soon as Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the child leapt in her womb and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. She gave a loud cry and said, ‘Of all women you are the most blessed, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. Why should I be honoured with a visit from the mother of my Lord? For the moment your greeting reached my ears, the child in my womb leapt for joy. Yes, blessed is she who believed that the promise made her by the Lord would be fulfilled.’

And Mary said:

‘My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord

and my spirit exults in God my saviour;

because he has looked upon his lowly handmaid.

Yes, from this day forward all generations will call me blessed,

for the Almighty has done great things for me.

Holy is his name,

and his mercy reaches from age to age for those who fear him.

He has shown the power of his arm,

he has routed the proud of heart.

He has pulled down princes from their thrones and exalted the lowly.

The hungry he has filled with good things, the rich sent empty away.

He has come to the help of Israel his servant, mindful of his mercy

– according to the promise he made to our ancestors –

of his mercy to Abraham and to his descendants for ever.’

Mary stayed with Elizabeth about three months and then went back home.

The Path of Love is like a bridge of hair over a chasm of fire
(Irina Tweedie)

In this country we have moved the Assumption to this Sunday. With very little to say about an unknown and 'assumed' Assumption the Church uses the moments that the Gospel tells us what little there is about Mary's life.

This is her witness to Elizabeth - a barren world is being brought to life by God's question and a woman's answer.
That the world is saved by a perfect 'yes' is what Mary is about - but her own perfection must surely be in the humanity of who she is - of how she lived her life - how she taught her son to live his.

Accepting God into your life does not make for a path of certainty - as Mother Theresa once said - 'I know God trusts me but sometimes I wish he didn't trust me so much'.

I understand the theory about how a Palestinian peasant girl can proclaim such fierce poetry as the Magnificat. If the Holy Spirit is with you then surely you would speak with certainty and majesty.

But, maybe, later that night:

My soul proclaims
its nearness to the Lord
delighted and fulfilled.

But my heart aches
broken by the accusation of my own people
shattered by stones of mistrust and judgment
No angel's promise of comfort - rather
Life's pathway set out in shards of flint.

A flinty gaze fills my eyes
and they widen, seeking the future road
staring into dark shadows;
welcoming the desert heat
that burns away the tears of hesitation
before they fall -

They fall, regardless

Each breath a tightening
a measured in and out
words said and unsaid
considered, found wanting

But not 'yes'
Never 'yes'.

My heart aches with Love.
With Love too much to be contained
yet unrecognised.

With Love that will lie in my arms
bloody and helpless
more than once.

With Love that will live within me
and without me
for more than Abraham;
Forever.

wordinthehand2011

Walk this way

2011-08-06T15:29:00.000-07:00

Gospel	Matthew 14:22-33

Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side while he would send the crowds away. After sending the crowds away he went up into the hills by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, while the boat, by now far out on the lake, was battling with a heavy sea, for there was a head-wind. In the fourth watch of the night he went towards them, walking on the lake, and when the disciples saw him walking on the lake they were terrified. ‘It is a ghost’ they said, and cried out in fear. But at once Jesus called out to them, saying, ‘Courage! It is I! Do not be afraid.’ It was Peter who answered. ‘Lord,’ he said ‘if it is you, tell me to come to you across the water.’ ‘Come’ said Jesus. Then Peter got out of the boat and started walking towards Jesus across the water, but as soon as he felt the force of the wind, he took fright and began to sink. ‘Lord! Save me!’ he cried. Jesus put out his hand at once and held him. ‘Man of little faith,’ he said ‘why did you doubt?’ And as they got into the boat the wind dropped. The men in the boat bowed down before him and said, ‘Truly, you are the Son of God.

St John Vianney - 4th August - Matthew 16:13-23 - Who do you say I am?

Dedication of the church of St Mary Major - 5th August - Matthew 16:24-28 - Whoever wants to be a follower of mine let him take up his cross...

Transfiguration of the Lord - 6th August - Matthew 17:1-9 - ‘Stand up,’ he said ‘do not be afraid.’

Relying on the Sunday Mass to teach you the Gospel is not the best of ideas. The pattern of the readings does mean that you will receive a broad understanding of the ministry of Jesus the Sunday readings are obviously chosen to particularly focus our minds on the path that Jesus wants us to take.

But they can still become, like family reminiscences, an event out of context - not really to do with everyday life - a miracle like this one can surely not mean a lot to us - we are certainly not surprised that Peter almost drowned (and if he had been a traditional fisherman, he wouldn't have been a strong swimmer - it was considered bad luck to challenge the elements).

Ideally, I read the Sunday Gospel the week before and allow it to mull - but this week it wouldn't mull - it didn't even get warm. I remembered how much I used to dislike Peter and how that has changed; I remembered that I had never thought about the fact that none of the others even tried to get out of the boat and I thought about what dramatic devices Jesus used for these people and yet they still managed not to understand. But I have written all that before.

It wasn't until Thursday, the feast of St John Vianney, patron saint of priests, that something spoke - and it took all the other readings of the day - including the Transfiguration to see a story emerge. A story of priests(ordained or otherwise), discipleship, vocation and Jesus.

It seems astonishing that John Vianney is the patron saint of priests; he certainly struggled with his vocation - including being considered academically slow, suffering severe illness, enforced enlistment into Napoleon's army and nearly failing seminary because he was no good at Latin. He criticised his parishioners for their love of drinking and dancing - even withholding Communion from partygoers - and ran away from the parish several times because of a desire for a more contemplative life.

Yet in his last ten years he became so famous as a confessor that thousands would visit his country parish and he would spend 12 to 16 hours a day hearing Confession and leading people closer to the Love of God.

John was not a perfect priest; he was not a perfect man; he didn't become who he was through his own ego, his own strength or his own ambition. He became who he was because his eyes were set on another. He loved Jesus.

One of John's prayers :-

I love You, O my God, and my only desire is to love You until the last breath of my life.

I love You, O my infinitely lovable God,

and I would rather die loving You, than live without loving You.

I love You, Lord, and the only grace I ask is to love You eternally

My God, if my tongue cannot say in every moment that I love You,

I want my heart to repeat it to You as often as I draw breath.

I imagine if Peter was a poet he would write something like this (and then pretend it wasn't him).

Because being a Christian isn't a career move, something you enroll in or hope to qualify as.

Vocation, discipleship is not about duty or responsibility. You cannot live a life simply by following a rule or a expressing a desire to be good; that will not be enough when things go wrong and people turn away; that won't be enough when you feel alienated even by friends and family and you are not in the place you want to be. That will not be enough when even God is not where you want God to be.

Vocation and discipleship is about love and longing; a heartfelt longing to belong - it is like hearing the undeniable song of a Siren which calls you out of safe harbours and friendly faces and personal plans for the future.

It's even as you know you are doing the right thing you are still wondering if there is another, easier way.

It is about not being good enough but trying to be; running away and constantly coming back; saying the wrong thing but wanting the right thing; being childishly needy yet thinking you can walk on water - but knowing you cannot - not by yourself.

It is about seeing Jesus indescribably transfigured; far and beyond the preconceptions and the controlling image that you ever had of him, into the realisation of Jesus as the Beloved - not only of the Father but your own Beloved.

And seeing the transformation that will happen within yourself - his beloved - as Jesus calls across the water

‘Come’

wordinthehand2011

The coat of discipleship

2011-07-30T13:44:00.000-07:00

Gospel	Matthew 14:13-21

When Jesus received the news of John’s death he withdrew by boat to a lonely place where they could be by themselves. But the people heard of this and, leaving the towns, went after him on foot. So as he stepped ashore he saw a large crowd; and he took pity on them and healed their sick.

When evening came, the disciples went to him and said, ‘This is a lonely place, and the time has slipped by; so send the people away, and they can go to the villages to buy themselves some food.’ Jesus replied, ‘There is no need for them to go: give them something to eat yourselves.’ But they answered ‘All we have with us is five loaves and two fish.’ ‘Bring them here to me’ he said. He gave orders that the people were to sit down on the grass; then he took the five loaves and the two fish, raised his eyes to heaven and said the blessing. And breaking the loaves handed them to his disciples who gave them to the crowds. They all ate as much as they wanted, and they collected the scraps remaining; twelve baskets full. Those who ate numbered about five thousand men, to say nothing of women and children.

The tradition of the rabbi and disciple goes a far way back. There is more than one way to be a disciple, just like there is more than one way to be a football supporter - armchair; occasional; fan; fanatic. But there is a rule of thumb that the truest disciple is the one who literally eats the dust from the teacher's shoes; who gets to lean against them at suppertime and who can look across the campfire into their eyes when they are teaching their 'way'.

The Gospel is full of people and events; the crowds and the characters can be disarming and distracting - the one you have to watch - is Jesus.

'the Son represents God to the world- but in the mode of the Son who regards the Father as 'greater' and to who he eternally owes all that he is - and he represents the world to God, by being, as man (or rather as as the God-man), humble, lowly, modest, docile of heart.' - Hans Urs von Balthasar

Balthasar is not an easy read; not an easy mind to get into, although I enjoy the challenge. This excerpt literally fell before my eyes when I was avoiding reflecting on the Gospel by tidying up.

Whether it is a literacy trait or the way the Gospel is parceled up each week, we often reach the end of the Gospel very much aware of the 'God to the world' face of Jesus. He feeds thousands with a few half forgotten fish and loaves - that is a miracle - only God can do that.

We are impressed and thankful for Jesus' act of compassion and that these early followers were not left to go hungry. And perhaps we can even rest in the faith that God will always provide for us in our hour of need.

But that is not the only lesson here. Jesus did not need to be fully human to answer this call. God has provided for his people for thousands of years already.

What Balthasar suggests and what Jesus displays is that his life with us is perhaps less about showing us a human face of the power of God and more about showing us how humanity could be with our eyes turned towards God.

Jesus begins the scene in grief and distress; acknowledging a need to rest, to escape. Many of us have been there; many of us know that feeling. But whilst we may feel aggrieved and justified in not wishing to be disturbed, the needs of the crowd - and this is a crowd of curious and demanding strangers - cannot be ignored. The grief and tiredness prove his humanity - as a man he is able to overcome his needs to welcome the stranger.

Eventually, the disciples decide they want Jesus back for themselves - it is a lonely place - Jesus needs to look after them now. Their demand to have the crowd sent away is answered, perhaps wearily, with a challenge - 'I have been caring for them - now, you look after them'. They can't or they won't - they have had all afternoon and into the evening yet this moment has still surprised them - they have set limitations on their abilities and see them as not enough.

The have forgotten the power of prayer. Jesus knows his limitations and knows that these are not obstacles; there is someone 'greater'. Jesus does not 'do' miracles - his Father does - the love between the Father and Jesus means he just knows how to ask. Jesus reminds us many, many times we have it in ourselves to do the same.

Some may think the title of this blog is a typo - not that I am immune to them. But I was thinking that discipleship is not only a price we pay it is something we must be prepared to put on - a coat that announces that we are part of God's workforce. As a romantic - perhaps even the surcoat of a knight.

As disciples of Jesus it is not enough to follow him; we must learn to be him - to be clothed in him as Paul eloquently describes it.

I am reminded today of the people of East Africa - 10 million suffering from a thousand illnesses, starvation and conflict. How easy to turn over the channel: to send them away; to decide that the problem is too big; we are too small.

Easy to say 'they are in God's hands'?

Perhaps not - when Jesus would want us to realise that, you - and I - are God's hands.

wordinthehand2011

Either/or? Both

2011-07-29T10:22:00.000-07:00

The Feast of St Martha

Gospel	Matthew 13:54-58

Coming to his home town, Jesus taught the people in their synagogue in such a way that they were astonished and said, ‘Where did the man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers? This is the carpenter’s son, surely? Is not his mother the woman called Mary, and his brothers James and Joseph and Simon and Jude? His sisters, too, are they not all here with us? So where did the man get it all?’ And they would not accept him. But Jesus said to them, ‘A prophet is only despised in his own country and in his own house’, and he did not work many miracles there because of their lack of faith.

Fishing boat at Wells next the Sea

To avoid manual labour

entirely

is to participate in the cultivation

of a classist or racist or sexist society -

in which some of us

do the really significant things of life

and others of us

do the physical work the rest of us think

we are too important

to do.

(Joan Chittister - The Monastery of the Heart p106)

I would be the first to admit that my ministry and understanding of faith has been guided by a haphazard and serendipitous approach to study. I have judged books by their cover, took courses because they were on the 'right' day, filled journals (from the back to the front) with random thoughts and sat with saints in fields, on cliffs and ruined cottages. I have loved every minute, being a hedgerow scholar fits in with what some people regard as an alternative view of faith. But a woman's spiritual ministry is difficult to support in the church - if you are not a religious; not authorised; not qualified - then eventually you will be asked 'Who do you think you are?'

For a number of years I have thought about doing a Masters degree in Theology through a distance learning programme supported by our Diocese. There were always reasons - personal, family and work reasons- to defer it for another year. Finally, eighteen months ago, I actually felt the time had come to fill in the forms and thankfully, after all this time, was accepted.

We were due to begin last September, then April, then this September and now January. I am beginning to feel jinxed - or maybe I was meant to wait until I had the right approach.

After all, I have spent a lot of years and prayers walking the path discovering who I am - who I am in God's eyes - to be defined by the letters after your name (even if you have earned the letters) doesn't sit very well. They cannot be a badge or a mask to hide behind to make up for inadequacies of self or to point out inadequacies in others.

And you cannot forget where you came from. Otherwise you are not on a journey at all.

Jesus will always be a carpenter's son; his mother's son; a child of dubious parentage who should know his place

Martha will always be a busybody of woman with a sharp tongue unwilling to be overshadowed by her sister

But this is not all they are. We do not have to be practical or spiritual; masculine or feminine; brain or brawn; prosaic or poetic.

But we are asked to be all we can be.

wordinthehand2011

Feast or Famine

2011-07-21T15:12:00.000-07:00

The Feast of Mary Magdalen

Gospel	Matthew 13:18-23

Jesus said to his disciples, ‘You are to hear the parable of the sower. When anyone hears the word of the kingdom without understanding, the evil one comes and carries off what was sown in his heart: this is the man who received the seed on the edge of the path. The one who received it on patches of rock is the man who hears the word and welcomes it at once with joy. But he has no root in him, he does not last; let some trial come, or some persecution on account of the word, and he falls away at once. The one who received the seed in thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this world and the lure of riches choke the word and so he produces nothing. And the one who received the seed in rich soil is the man who hears the word and understands it; he is the one who yields a harvest and produces now a hundredfold, now sixty, now thirty.’

Matthew expects Jesus' explanation to make everything plain...and simple... a design for life. But life is not like that. I imagine Mary of Magdala's life was not like that. When the seed fell ...where was she?

Some studies say that Magdala was a town of ill repute on the shores of the Galilee- a town of fishermen and fishwives. The seed falling on a girl child - if not unwanted then unwelcome. And then as she grew, the seed finding her in the outer rooms; whispers just loud enough that she would know her legacy; enough to awake a longing that had no name.

Then the demons... laughing, choking the hope from her; telling her that she was not good enough; the wrong sort; that it was she that was the darnel - until the Sower gathered her in again; until the harvest of healing, forgiveness and, for a while, a community where she had a place to grow.

It took very little time for the weeds to grow again in Mary's life. She had survived sticks and stones but the words continued to hurt her even after her death. Mary well say it doesn't matter - it's not about her - and it's not. But Mary represents so many of the disenfranchised people of the Church; those who thought themselves chosen - but not acknowledged' those who thought themselves forgiven - but only by God; those who thought they had a home - until the community had a change of heart.

Faith can be all you have and your vocation can sing clearly in your soul but, Matthew, I have to tell you, it is not always you who decides the richness of the soil you are planted in.

And maybe that is it -it isn't all about the soil, sometimes it is the seed itself that forces survival - in cracks in the pavement, spanning brick walls and clinging to chimney pots - the stubborn resilence of something who knows itself in God's eyes.

Mary Magdalen

I’ve been watching your men, Peter.

Chattering like rooks in their bell towers;
Covetous of their traditions, their status quo.
Sending us back to the kitchen and bedroom yet again.
What dogma did they use this time?
Which chapter and verse?
The only time I ever saw the Master write
Was in the sand at a woman’s feet
And that was swept away by His Word.

There were always women, Peter;
Uncompromising, bleeding, sinful women.
Causing embarrassment even then.
You may have been the first chosen
But we were never an afterthought.
We sat at the Master’s feet
Spoke the words of faith,
Loved without compromise,
Believed without proof.

It wasn’t only you He sent out
And it wasn’t only you that came back.
And I know you remember
When the time came, where were the men?

Where were you?

Who walked the Via Dolorosa at the end?
Who cradled the Child of Light
in the bloody mire of Calvary?
Who were His witnesses?

He has forgiven you, Peter.
But you have forgotten us.
Remember He loves us both.
Are we not both Children of the Way?
Remind your men we are sisters
Not harlots
Change their hearts,
Change their minds.
Change them.

wordinthehand2011

Storyteller

2011-07-17T12:53:00.000-07:00

Gospel	Matthew 13:24-43

Jesus put a parable before the crowds, ‘The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a man who sowed good seed in his field. While everybody was asleep his enemy came, sowed darnel all among the wheat, and made off. When the new wheat sprouted and ripened, the darnel appeared as well. The owner’s servants went to him and said, “Sir, was it not good seed that you sowed in your field? If so, where does the darnel come from?” “Some enemy has done this” he answered. And the servants said, “Do you want us to go and weed it out?” But he said, “No, because when you weed out the darnel you might pull up the wheat with it. Let them both grow till the harvest; and at harvest time I shall say to the reapers: First collect the darnel and tie it in bundles to be burnt, then gather the wheat into my barn.”’

He put another parable before them, ‘The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed which a man took and sowed in his field. It is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the biggest shrub of all and becomes a tree so that the birds of the air come and shelter in its branches.’

He told them another parable, ‘The kingdom of heaven is like the yeast a woman took and mixed in with three measures of flour till it was leavened all through.’

In all this Jesus spoke to the crowds in parables; indeed, he would never speak to them except in parables. This was to fulfil the prophecy:

I will speak to you in parables

and expound things hidden since the foundation of the world.

Then, leaving the crowds, he went to the house; and his disciples came to him and said, ‘Explain the parable about the darnel in the field to us.’ He said in reply, ‘The sower of the good seed is the Son of Man. The field is the world; the good seed is the subjects of the kingdom; the darnel, the subjects of the evil one; the enemy who sowed them, the devil; the harvest is the end of the world; the reapers are the angels. Well then, just as the darnel is gathered up and burnt in the fire, so it will be at the end of time. The Son of Man will send his angels and they will gather out of his kingdom all things that provoke offences and all who do evil, and throw them into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and grinding of teeth. Then the virtuous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Listen, anyone who has ears!’

'Is it possible that by telling these tales,one might indeed save themselves?'

Scheherezade certainly thought so.This part of Matthew reminds me very much of my Arabian Nights storybook. The Sultan was not the only one tempted to wait one more day - to see what happened - although I have to confess that I didn't always keep it to one story a night no matter how often I started the book with that intention.

In my mind the tales of Scheherezade; the fables of Aesop; and the stories of the Brothers Grimm often find themselves in company with the parables of Jesus; they all sat by each other on my 'favourites' bookshelf but I used to find it funny that not only did Jesus tell these stories but then he has to explain them as well. Those grown ups didn't seem so bright after all.

Not that I remember my interpretations but I understood that their meanings were meant for me - the 'me' that I was then -the message decided by the ears that hear.

Unlike Scheherezade, who told her tales to save her life - Jesus tells his to save ours.

In this part of the Gospel, Jesus only explains one parable - the scary one. The reminder that being saved is a lifelong work - we might believe that we have weeded out our sins early in our lives but once is not enough - our lives are constantly in peril. And that whilst we have no right to make judgement on ourselves or each other - the day will come that the One who can - will.

Then we have the rest of the parables - unexplained - left to speak for themselves.

The 'me' that I am now, today, is reminded of another book on the same shelf - Tales of Long Ago - and the story of Pandora's Box. That even with all the evils of the world; all the wrong that humankind does; all the wrong that I do - there is always that tiny gift - of Grace. Tiny but enough.

Grace will grow from a prayer; spread itself through a kind deed; will build the Kingdom from almost nothing - because nothing is impossible to God. And like the 'worthless' sparrows of the skies we will all find shelter in it's branches.

It's an Ignatian practice to give the story of each day to God and look forward to the tales that are to come - taking time to give up the distraction of ego and the clinging to regret.

There is grace in allowing hope to flourish and to be made new- as Scheherezade knew - one day at a time

wordinthehand2011

Here be dragons

2011-07-16T18:13:00.000-07:00

I don't often stray from my Gospel but I thought I would make an exception for a recent addition to the family. Last week was my birthday, and my children decided that I did not have enough to look after at the moment (?!) and, after all, that this was something I would really, really want - having gone through every pet imaginable from cats to rats to snakes, chickens and tarantulas I now have - a dragon.

A baby bearded dragon but nevertheless - he has the right 'dragon' attitude already.

Philomena over at Blue eyed Ennis http://blueeyedennis-siempre.blogspot.com/2011/07/ignatian-cat.html
noticed the contemplative nature of cats - well, Henry - my birthday is St Henry's day so it seems appropriate - despite being only a few months old can already show cats a thing or two.

He is something of a desert brother, by nature; wishing, needing, to live alone. He has a tai chi attitude to hunting his food (crickets) and a calm and measured demeanour to all these new experiences that moving into our home entails.

I think he may well teach me a thing or two over the years.

wordinthehand2011

A parable or two

2011-07-09T12:56:00.000-07:00

Gospel	Matthew 13:1-23

off the Heugh, Lindisfarne

Jesus left the house and sat by the lakeside, but such large crowds gathered round him that he got into a boat and sat there. The people all stood on the beach, and he told them many things in parables.

He said, ‘Imagine a sower going out to sow. As he sowed, some seeds fell on the edge of the path, and the birds came and ate them up. Others fell on patches of rock where they found little soil and sprang up straight away, because there was no depth of earth; but as soon as the sun came up they were scorched and, not having any roots, they withered away. Others fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. Others fell on rich soil and produced their crop, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. Listen, anyone who has ears!’

Then the disciples went up to him and asked, ‘Why do you talk to them in parables?’ ‘Because’ he replied, ‘the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven are revealed to you, but they are not revealed to them. For anyone who has will be given more, and he will have more than enough; but from anyone who has not, even what he has will be taken away. The reason I talk to them in parables is that they look without seeing and listen without hearing or understanding. So in their case this prophecy of Isaiah is being fulfilled:

You will listen and listen again, but not understand,

see and see again, but not perceive.

For the heart of this nation has grown coarse,

their ears are dull of hearing, and they have shut their eyes,

for fear they should see with their eyes,

hear with their ears,

understand with their heart,

and be converted

and be healed by me.

‘But happy are your eyes because they see, your ears because they hear! I tell you solemnly, many prophets and holy men longed to see what you see, and never saw it; to hear what you hear, and never heard it.

‘You, therefore, are to hear the parable of the sower. When anyone hears the word of the kingdom without understanding, the evil one comes and carries off what was sown in his heart: this is the man who received the seed on the edge of the path. The one who received it on patches of rock is the man who hears the word and welcomes it at once with joy. But he has no root in him, he does not last; let some trial come, or some persecution on account of the word, and he falls away at once. The one who received the seed in thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this world and the lure of riches choke the word and so he produces nothing. And the one who received the seed in rich soil is the man who hears the word and understands it; he is the one who yields a harvest and produces now a hundredfold, now sixty, now thirty.’

Some intense experiences of the spiritual life and the mystical path take place in God space; a time outside time. This is liminal space - a passing place - a thin place - a place of transition.

If you were looking for a way to explain liminal space you could do worse that picturing a boat. A curve of wood separating the sea from the sky; at the mercy of the deep roaming currents and sighs of the Spirit's passing over the earth. A place that challenges logic - where you have to trust with your heart.

A good place for a storyteller; for a message for those with ears and eyes that can read beneath the waves and beyond the horizon.

Jesus likes boats; for a worker with wood and stone he seems very at home in them. At home enough to sleep through the perils of a storm and to know which side the fish are on. I wonder if boats call to some genetic God memory within his human body.

We know he can walk 'on' the water if he wants to but that is something supernatural - the nature of this boat experience is both spiritual and mundane. Perhaps fishermen 'get' it - the defiance of nature; the challenge of gravity - but otherwise it seems so ordinary - just a place where Jesus can avoid the crowd pushing in on him.

They must be landlubbers this lot, the story of the Sower is placed deep in the earth; in a season of chance and harvest that the people of the land can relate to.

There is always space and time for a new tale and I wonder what the story would have been if it had been told for the people of the capricious Sea of Galilee.

Imagine the throwing of a fisherman's net; imagine the very life and craft of sailing and fishing on the Galilee.

Water attracts many; the lifeblood of a desert people; the harvest for a lakeside community - many people come to the water's edge - but it affects everyone differently.

Would you be one of those will spend a sunny afternoon or a warm evening sitting on the dockside watching the working boats thinking that it would be a good way to spend a day or a holiday; that you might try it - some day?

Would you be one of those who has a boat; polished and scrubbed? A place to catch the seabreezes that gives respite from the desert heat; but never far from the dockside; and the net folded up neatly in the stowage - it came with the boat - you have never learnt to use it.

Perhaps there have been times that you were a regular at the dockside- an enthusiast - tagging your boat behind the fleet even on the night sailings; sharing in the tales of memorable catches and surviving a storm or two until something else catches your interest, other demands are made on your life and you drift away with fond memories but something else to do.

Or would you be captivated; the cold green sea water in your veins; the sounds of the waves and cries of birds, the clink of chains and thwack of the canvas in your ears; hands callused and scarred by the ropes, the nets; eyes trained to watch for shadows of shoals in the depths, the billowing of the clouds and the turn of the stars in the skies above?Would your feet feel awkward on the earth, body off balance, siren voices calling you back from days spent inland? Would you measure your life by the counting of a catch; the loss of friend in an unforgiving storm; the camaraderie of a dawnbreaking breakfast around a driftwood fire? Would it be your life, for all your life?

Ears that hear? Eyes that see?

wordinthehand2011

Come to me

2011-07-02T11:59:00.000-07:00

Gospel	Matthew 11:25-30

Jesus exclaimed, ‘I bless you, Father, Lord of heaven and of earth, for hiding these things from the learned and the clever and revealing them to mere children. Yes, Father, for that is what it pleased you to do. Everything has been entrusted to me by my Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father, just as no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

‘Come to me, all you who labour and are overburdened, and I will give you rest. Shoulder my yoke and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Yes, my yoke is easy and my burden light.’

This reading is used so often in services of healing and remembrance. Words of comfort and reassurance for those who suffer, whose life is unmanageable. We imagine an opportunity to bring our cares to Jesus and to hand them over; to rest in the arms of God; to be as children in his care.

A lovely thought and, at first glance, a fair imagining except that is not actually what is on offer.

Jesus may have had lowly beginnings but he really didn't have to stay there, he must have had the opportunity, the charisma, to appeal to those that were in authority. Remember that even at twelve the Temple priests were amazed at his wisdom. He could have turned his back on the local scribes and pharisees that were discomforted by his ordinariness, by his parentage, by his dubious friendships. He could have gone to Jerusalem and joined the 'system' it would have been worth the ritual sacrifices to bring him into the fold of the great and the good. Jesus could still have had influence over these leaders of the faith; found ways to change their minds and their hearts; to bring them back to what God was asking of them.

But God, the Father, had been asking this of them for O, so many years; promises, threats and punishments had only ever brought a temporary change of heart from the learned and the clever, before their cleverness and learning found them another 'out' clause; allowed them to take control.

So Jesus stays where he is and gathers his children, his little ones with no authority or importance, around himself. And it is these who receive the message of redemption first hand; without the need for learning, sacrifice or judgment. Perhaps because they already know what judgment and sacrifice really mean?

The offer made to those who are weary is not one of complete release. Unless the Lord planned to recreate Heaven on earth that was never going to be a reasonable expectation. This is our earthly life and it is part of our journey that we live it; as Jesus lives it - with the pain and the weariness and the labour.

The yoke is easy because it is not adorned with carvings, bells and brasses, it has been shaped by trial and tears; the burden is light because we should not be carrying what is not needed to get us into the Kingdom or allow us to help with it's construction.

In previous years I talked about the idea of harnessing a young fretful animal into the same yoke as an older more experienced beast; teaching through sharing and growing together until they fall into step. This year I am thinking cowboys, gardeners, artists....I am thinking particularly allotment growers...

If you have ever taken on an allotment ( a small plot of land for growing vegetables etc) then unless you are very lucky, you normally start off with a carpet of nettles, thistles and bits of half buried metal. The first-time enthusiast will have bought every piece of equipment and clothing possible; read every book and magazine on the market; will be at their plot until sunset in all weathers and within days will have blisters upon blisters and aches in places where they didn't know they had places. And the nettles will be winning.

Across the paths will be the seasoned growers sitting in chairs drinking tea from pitted enamel cups, enjoying the sun or seeming to walk past a row of earth only to have shoots springing to life. And they will appear to have achieved this with a well worn shovel, a penknife and a piece of string.

Fortunately, most growers seem to be on the same wavelength as the Lord. Once the weeks of initiation have taken place (do you return the' nod', have you parked the furthest away, how loud do you have the radio on?) then the offer of advice, help and support will be made and you will be humbled enough to listen.

The remedies will be simple, cost next-to-nothing and will work. You will understand the meaning of miracle, experience and wisdom; your life will be well worth living.

Important to realise - the commitment will not have changed; the seasons will not bow to your needs, the potatoes will not earth up themselves; the mice will not divert from your shed (unless you rub garlic around the doors and windows) but the burden will be lighter and your soul - a growing soul - will be at rest.

The Lord tells us over and over that our lives need to be simple; as he sends out the disciples with no more than a staff, as he lives with no place to rest his head; as he asks the rich young man to give away what is causing him the most worry; as he challenges the Temple to let go of the rules and the small 't' traditions that stop them from following God's Law. Jesus lives in humility and trusts that his Father is taking care of him. So should we.

If we worry about what we may lose then maybe we should not have it to worry about;
if we worry about what we do not have then maybe that's a good reason for not having it;
if we worry about tomorrow then maybe we need to spend more time living today;
if we worry that God does not hear our prayers then maybe we need to remember that we are also sons and daughters of a loving Father God.

wordinthehand2011